


Lost and Found

by achickpeasalad



Category: Bleach
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Tragedy, F/M, Family, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Mild Language, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Third Person, Self-Discovery, Thriller, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23852824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achickpeasalad/pseuds/achickpeasalad
Summary: The boss lied to me. I'm sick and tired of being the puppet. It's time I took matters into my own hands and find out who I really am.Shuuhei's POV and several third person POVs
Relationships: Aizen Sousuke/Ichimaru Gin, Aizen Sousuke/Ichimaru Gin/Kira Izuru, Hisagi Shuuhei/Jugram Haschwalth, Hisagi Shuuhei/Muguruma Kensei, Hisagi Shuuhei/Yhwach, Ichimaru Gin/Kira Izuru, Shihouin Yoruichi/Urahara Kisuke
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	1. Last Ferry

**Author's Note:**

> Banana Fish left a hole in me which I decided to fill with this AU-Bleach story.  
> Please enjoy

I ran. My lungs were burning.

‘Where the fuck is he?!’

‘I saw him go down this way!’

Swearing, I skidded to a halt and ran back the way I came. I was starting to get a stitch in my side.

This fucking blew. I was supposed to escape without being seen. How did they even figure it out?

It was him. He fucking knew I hated being there and tipped them off. He never wanted me to leave. He wanted me to rot there till I died. Then he’d watch our boss would revive me and do it all over again.

He was sick. They both were.

‘There!’

Fuck, fuck, FUCK.

I ducked into an alley, barely missing a bullet clearly meant to take my ear off.

I didn’t want to go back. They couldn’t make me. If they were going to chase me I was going to make it fucking hell for them.

I scrambled to a dumpster just below a window. And was suddenly tackled to the ground.

‘Got him!’ the redheaded goon roared in delight. He grabbed my face and sneered. His breath smelled like sour milk. ‘Time to come home, you cunt.’

I bit his lip and pulled. He screamed in agony and rolled off me. I spat out skin and bolted. I barely managed to crawl through the window before the others found their howling partner.

I wanted to catch my breath so badly. But every second was precious now. The ferries stopped running after midnight. If I got on one they wouldn’t be able to get me until tomorrow. And even if they drove around the bay I’d be long gone. The boss would be pissed. I wondered if he’d kill them for losing me.

I didn’t feel sorry for these guys. They never hesitated to hurt me. They got what they deserved. Let karma to have a fucking field day.

I burst through the building, breaking the lock in the process. To my relief, I recognized the street. The ferry station was only a block over from here. I was actually going to make-

_BANG!_

I shoved my fingers in my mouth, holding back a scream. My left arm was numb, my shoulder burning. Something hot trickled down my back, soaking my shirt.

‘Did you get him?!’

I swiveled around, ready with a death glare. But I forgot how as soon as I locked eyes with calm, colorless ones.

Hasch smiled benignly. ‘Heya, Shuu,’ he remarked in that fucking annoying calm voice. ‘How’s it going?’

I balled my hands into fists. _He’s trying to buy time._

I took off. I still had a mission. Just because he sent Hasch didn’t mean I was going to come back like an obedient puppy.

I was starting to feel lightheaded from the blood loss. I almost missed the port entrance if I hadn’t collided into the promotion sign.

_Come ride the ferry and see the wonders of Seahawk Bay!_

What a waste of goddamn money. You could get a better view from the lower docks or up on the hillside opposite it. Why the hell would you waste money on something that wasn't even worth it?

_“The next ferry will leave in five minutes. This is the last ferry until 6AM.”_

Damn it, damn it, damn, damn. I was so fucking slow. If only I’d been quicker then Hasch wouldn’t have shot me. Fuck that. He would’ve gotten me anyway. He never missed. Maybe that’s why he was here. If they couldn’t retrieve me, he had permission to kill. How absolutely perfect. Maybe that’s why he told them I was going to escape tonight. Fucking psycho.

‘Oi! I think he’s trying to get on a ferry! Follow the blood!’

Fuck. My own body was betraying me now.

I kept trudging forward, eyes trained on the departure doors. I wasn’t going to let it end like this. This was the furthest I’d come and I wasn’t going to be dragged back now. Please, if there’s a God, I wanted some hope. Anything. I’d never wanted something so badly that I could cry.

I stumbled into something. Something soft and warm.

‘Oi! Watch it!’

What the hell? There was a person here at this time? Hardly anyone was down at the ferry at midnight except hobos.

‘Shit, kid! You’re bleeding!’

No shit Sherlock.

_“We are about to depart. Please make sure you have all your belongings.”_

Shit, I wasn’t going to make it.

‘I have to get on that ferry…’ I murmured. I tried to run, only my limbs felt heavy, like I was running through honey. ‘I have to…’

‘Kid, you’re not going to-‘

‘I have to!’ I sounded desperate and panicked. I couldn’t help it. The noose around my neck was tightening with every passing minute.

‘Please…help…’

I had no idea who I was talking to. Half my vision had gone. The person-thing was just a blur with oddly light hair.

There was silence. I heard the distant ringing of the ferry bell.

* * *

‘Are you sure he came this way?!’ Ebern yelled, running back and forth between the public bathrooms.

‘Why else would there be a blood trail leading here, you idiot?’ Friegen snapped back. He turned to Hasch. ‘Well?! Any inputs, Mr. One-Shot Wonder?’

Hasch gave a small smile. ‘I would advise you to show me some respect,’ he uttered. ‘The boss would not be pleased with your manners.’

Friegen rolled his eyes and glanced out of the many windows overlooking the bay. ‘If he got on that ferry there’s no point in looking. He’ll be long gone by the time we get to the other side.’

Hasch studied the puddle of blood in the middle of the waiting area. ‘Little Shuu doesn’t have the energy right now. And I have a feeling he didn’t get on that ferry alone.’ He bent down and dipped his finger in it. It felt cold and sticky. ‘I can still find him.’

Ebern snorted. ‘Good luck. Victoria is a tough city to rake through. You’re going to need insiders.’ 

‘Thanks for the tip.’ Hasch aimed his gun at the back of their heads. ‘I’ll let the boss know how immensely helpful you both were.’


	2. My Name is Excuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love to those who gave kudos!

‘Oi, kid. Wake up. We’re here.’

I jolted up from the bench. I was on the ferry. How-?

I glanced up. A serious guy with weird white hair was leaning against the seats. He quirked an eyebrow. ‘Any pain? You lost a lot of blood.’

I touched my shoulder. It was tightly bandaged with something. Felt like a t-shirt. Did he do that? But why?

The ferry shuddered as it pulled into Victoria’s port.

_“Thank you for riding with us. We look forward to having you again. Have a great day!”_

I was in Victoria…holy shit, I actually got away. I couldn’t believe it…

I leaned back and hissed. My shoulder was throbbing in pain. Shit, how deep did that bullet go?

‘Okay, I’m calling an ambulance.’ In slow motion, I saw him whip out his phone and begin to dial.

‘NO!’

He stared at me.

I knew he was trying to help but I couldn’t let him do that. Hasch probably told the boss I got shot so he’s got every hospital on alert. If I got in an ambulance I’d basically be handing myself back on a platter, with a fancy bow and everything. Everyone was so damn keen to suck his dick and get in his good books.

The guy was still staring at me, waiting for a better idea. I had none. I needed a damn doctor but there was no way I was risking getting better only to be sent back.

‘If you don’t tell me why then I’m just going to go ahead and call one,’ he said slowly, fingers still poised to dial. I shot out a hand and grabbed his arm. My mind was a cluster fuck right now.

‘No ambulance,’ I managed to stutter out. ‘I don’t…hospitals make me…’

He sighed. ‘Jeez, you’re one of those kids.’ He ran a hand over his face, thinking. Then he nodded. ‘Okay, I know a place.’

He picked me up by my good shoulder and started dragging me off the ferry.

‘Hey! Injured here! Some courtesy would be nice,’ I snapped. I had half a mind to yank myself out of his grip. I didn’t get out of Wandenreich to be treated the same way outside the organization.

‘Oh, shut up. I carried your sorry ass onto that ferry and I can very well drag you off it too.’

Oh God, how did I end up with a guy like him saving me? Damn my luck.

‘Can I ask where you’re taking me?’ I asked loudly.

‘Well…I needed an excuse to go see this friend. So I’m glad I found you.’

I had a bad feeling about this. ‘What the hell does he do?!’

* * *

‘Kenny, m’man! How’s it-who’s that?’

‘My name is Excuse.’

‘Erm, sorry?’

‘He’s joking, Shin. Say you still got the sewing kit? This kid got shot.’

The blonde’s eyes bulged. ‘He wha-?!’

‘Sewing kit. NOW.’

The guy called Kenny parked me on a couch and pushed me face first into it. I immediately kicked back in reflex, shoving him off.

‘What the hell?!’ I yelled.

‘We need to get that bullet out,’ he growled, grabbing my shoulder again.

‘“WE”!?’ Shin said from the kitchen.

I bolted off the couch. ‘Do you even know how to?!’ I argued. No way in hell was I going to let some rando dig into my flesh. I could get infected and die.

He was starting to lose patience. ‘I used to be an army doctor,’ he said exasperatedly. ‘Do you want to see my license as well?’

I glared at him. Then slowly slunk back onto the couch. But I made sure to keep one eye on him for any funny business.

Shin fussed over him as he calmly took the sewing kit and pulled my shirt up. I wondered if he could see the whip marks I got from the last time I tried running away. It had been a while and they probably didn’t look as bad. But if he did see them, he didn’t say anything.

‘Whoever shot you was good,’ he muttered, pulling the extendable lamp so that it beamed on my back. The heat prickled my skin. ‘He barely missed your scapula. Another inch over and it would’ve shattered.’

He rummaged in the little sewing tin and pulled out a pair of tweezers. ‘So here’s the plan: I need you to bite into that pillow while I dig out the bullet. Shin, you’re going to hot towel and pressure that wound while I get the needle ready. Then it’s just sew it, clean it and bang, we’re done. Unfortunately, no anesthesia. Any questions?’

I bit my pillow in response. He nodded.

I felt the cold metal of the tweezers and held back a shudder.

‘Why are you helping me?’ I said in a muffled voice, mouth full of pillow. I wasn’t sure if they even understood me.

Kenny scoffed. ‘I don’t answer stupid questions,’ he said gruffly.

* * *

Hasch sighed as he spun his Smith & Wesson pistol on the computer dashboard. Why did he have to be the one to review the security clips from the ferry station? Couldn’t the boss get someone else to do it? Bambi did nothing all day except train whores for the host club. _He_ could do that.

He forwarded the tape. That was all he’d been doing all night. This was such a waste of his time. The only fun he had was when he shot little Shuu.

A smile danced across his lips. Poor little Shuu, always biting like a wild little wolf. He told the boss he’d be hard to tame. So then it became a challenge the boss couldn’t walk away from. He was going to make a house pet out of the little wolf.

It was fun being part of the Shuu Training Program. Hasch admitted the boss was downright cruel at times. But damn was it worth seeing that fiery look in that boy’s eyes. It pulled at something deep in you that made you want to love him and rip his guts out at the same time. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

He’d gotten a taste of that tonight when he popped a cap in the kid. He’d known for a while that little Shuu had been planning another escape. He wasn’t going to let him get away that easily. It’s why he’d slipped it to the boss and personally volunteered to lead the search party. Just so he could get a thrill in hunting down the wolf and making him bleed. He missed his scapula on purpose. No reason to ruin a perfectly working toy.

If only the little wolf hadn’t gotten away. That hadn’t been part of the plan. He was going to mess around, shake up the kid a bit, before bringing him back in relatively one piece. He'd been planning to shoot the others all along before he had had his fun with little Shuu. Just so they wouldn’t tattle on him to the boss. But his plan had backfired. Someone who wasn’t supposed to be at the ferry station fucked it all up. 

Hasch paused. He leaned forward and squinted at the screen. There was the kid, wobbling around a bit. Probably lost a lot of blood. He was talking to some guy. The camera had been too far away to capture his face. But he had unusually distinct white hair.

He smirked. Bingo.


	3. Easy Peasy, Lemon Squeezy

‘Is he asleep?’

‘He should be. I thought he was going to pass out when I took the bullet out.’

‘He’s tough.’

I stretched out on the couch and curled in, keeping my eyes tightly shut. I couldn’t let them know I was listening. That spontaneous surgery definitely sapped at my energy but my body had learned to take pain well and recover quickly. I knew once I had rested, I’d be ready to take off. Getting to Victoria had only been half the hurdle. The other was much, much more daunting. And I didn’t want to get anyone involved any further.

‘How old is he anyway?’ Shin asked. I heard ice clinking. He was probably pouring a drink. What time was it anyway?

‘No clue. Doesn’t look older than eighteen.’

Shin whistled. ‘The hell did a kid do to get shot?’

‘Dunno.’ He paused. I could make out faint gulping sounds.

‘You’re just going to let him go after this?’ Shin sounded surprised.

‘What else am I supposed to do?’

Fair point. I wasn’t going to stay. And he had no right to tell me what to do.

It was time I got going. I still felt groggy but once I started moving I’d be fine. First things first, I needed a car.

I yawned. Both men looked up.

‘You’re awake,’ Kenny remarked. ‘I wasn’t expecting you to move until tomorrow.’

‘Sorry to disappoint.’ I glanced at the shuttered windows. Hardly any light seemed to be shining through. ‘What time is it?’

‘Just past five.’ No wonder they were drinking.

I got off the couch gingerly and tested my balance. I’d be fine. ‘Where’s the closest vehicle rental?’

‘Woah, woah, you’re not seriously going to drive in your condition, are you?’ Shin sputtered.

‘I think he seriously is, Shin,’ Kenny said leisurely and leaned back in his armchair, drink in hand.

‘Aren’t you-?!’

‘Fuck no. I’m not his mama. And neither are you so quit it. Door’s that way, kid. Good luck.’

Thank God. I was prepared for some probing questions but I was more than relieved to bypass all of that. Though his aloofness was a tad irritating. I kinda wanted to stay just to prove a point.

I went into the hall to put my shoes on while Shin raised hell at Kenny for being an inconsiderate prick. They sounded like a lovely couple.

I patted my pockets. Good. I still had my cards. I’d need to show some identification to get a car. I made sure to stash a few different ones to keep my name off the books. Of course, trying to hide my face from the security cameras will be a problem but I’m sure I can fix tha-

Security cameras…shit, the ferry has security cameras. Which means they know-

_RATAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT_

Bullets ripped through the blinds and wrecked the couch.

‘GET DOWN!’ I yelled, diving further into the hall.

‘What the FUCK, Kenny?!’ Shin screamed, hiding behind a bookcase. ‘What the actual blooming FUCK!?’

‘Do you have a gun?!’ I roared over the bullets.

‘WHAT?!’

‘DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING GUN?!’

The bullets continued, destroying the floorboards.

‘In the umbrella stand!’

I dumped out all the umbrellas along with a Glock. I checked the chamber. Fully loaded.

Leaning against the wall, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. As soon as I opened them, I ran towards the window. I could distinctly make out Shin screaming that I was a crazy son of a bitch. I didn’t give a fuck. These guys weren’t Haschs. They couldn’t aim for shit. That also meant they didn’t know how to protect themselves when attacking.

Guessing from the angle of the bullet barrage, the shots were coming from the building across and a little above. The blinds were almost gone, shards all over the floor. I took aim at the building, fired a few shots and waited. The intensity lessened. I’d gotten one.

_Amateurs. The lot of them. This ain’t nothing, Shuu. Like target practice. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy._

I knew where to aim. It was instinct. Within minutes, the firing had ceased. I knew I’d gotten them. Maybe not killed them but definitely shocked them. What were they going to do now? Think, think, think…

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck, this is so fucking wrong,’ Shin muttered, his voice cracking.

Kenny looked shocked. He cautiously moved out from the kitchen and pressed up against the wall on the other side of the window.

‘What’s going on, kid?’ he said gruffly.

I checked the Glock. Half empty. Shit. I needed to make ‘em count now. ‘They’re in shock,’ I uttered. ‘They didn’t expect us to attack. I’m guessing they have more than one group operating. Which means they’re sending them here right now to get us.’

‘Wait, “get us” as in kill us or capture us?’ Shin asked. Sharp ears for a son of a bitch.

‘It doesn’t matter. It’s not going to happen,’ I said sharply. We had time if we moved now. But we wouldn’t get far. Not without some wheels.

I looked at the two. ‘Does anyone have a car?’

They looked at each other. I held back a groan. We were so fucked.

‘It’s not mine,’ Shin said slowly. ‘But I’m holding a friend’s car in the basement parking lot.’

Thank God. I nodded in relief. ‘Keys?’

‘Kitchen. But I don’t think we shou-’

‘Got 'em.’ Kenny pocketed it. He was already striding towards the door.

He wasn’t even a foot away when someone blew the door knob off. Damn, that was quick. It was supposed to take them longer than that. Or had they already been stationed at this building?

I had to act quickly. I brought the gun up, hurtling forward. Without batting an eye, Kenny reached through the hole in the door, grabbed whoever was on the other side and yanked him straight through. The door came straight off its hinges and slammed into the opposite wall along with its rider. I swore I heard something pop because the guy screamed bloody murder. I made a mental note not to piss this guy off anymore than I needed to. 

‘Asshole,’ Kenny growled. He looked out the door and jumped back when an assail of bullets greeted him. ‘Shit!’

‘How many?’ I asked.

‘Two.’

That meant two bullets… But if I didn’t fire them, then we’d be stuck here.

‘When I say run, you run,’ I ordered.

‘No way in-!’

I didn’t let him finish. I sailed past him, took aim and shot twice. I got both guys between the eyes.

‘RUN!’

‘What the hell is this kid, Kenny?!’ Shin asked, bewildered.

‘I don’t even wanna know! Now move!’

Kenny shoved him as we bolted down the hall.

‘Stairs!’ Shin yelled and grabbed the banister. I yanked him back just as someone shot up from below. I took two shots and got a satisfying sound of them hitting flesh. ‘Okay, not the stairs!’

‘Elevator?’ Kenny suggested.

‘Do you _want_ to get killed?’ I asked sarcastically.

‘Then how else are we supposed to get out?!’

I swivelled onto Shin. ‘Is there a chute or something that goes down?’

He paused to think. I wanted him to think faster. We didn’t have many bullets.

‘There is an old loading elevator nobody bothers to use…’ he said slowly. ‘But it’s on the other-’

‘Good!’ I took off, hoping they followed. I didn’t want to be responsible for their sorry asses except I had to be. It was my fault they were caught up in this now. They had no choice but to come with me.

I gritted my teeth. Did the boss plan this? He knew I preferred being alone. Was he purposely targeting them too to force me to have weak points? Bastard…

‘There!’

An iron-wrought gate came into view. I pulled it back and ushered the two in. Suddenly, a bullet pinged off the gate.

‘Shit!’ I hissed. I slammed the basement button. The elevator groaned as it began to move.

‘Wait! Kid!’ Kenny yelled.

‘I’m coming! Just hold onto your underwear, old man!’

‘OLD MAN?!’

I trained my gun on our chasers and shot all my bullets. One went through two guys, another got capped in the nuts, the third in the knee and the last guy got his teeth knocked out when I threw the Glock at his face.

‘SHUU!’

I paused for only the briefest of minutes. I didn’t have to look to see who it was. I hated that voice. But at one point, I had wanted nothing more than for that voice to praise me.

Kan sighed. ‘Please, stop this,’ he said calmly.

‘…I can’t.’

Then I jumped into the elevator shaft. I landed hard, shocking my knees and almost rolling off. Groaning, I banged on the little trapdoor. It was shoved open and a hand reached out.

‘Don't ever do that again,’ Kenny muttered as we got to the basement. ‘Thought you were a goner.’

‘You learn a few tricks.’ My whole body ached. The surgery felt like child’s play compared to this pain. ‘Which car is it, Shin?’

He pointed. When Kenny and I saw it, our jaws dropped.

‘Your friend owns a fucking _Tesla_?!’ Kenny said incredulously.

‘Didn’t you see the fob?!’

‘Why the hell would I stare at a key fob?! And what the hell does he do anyway?!’

‘Never said. And it’s a she, not he.’ Shin turned to me. ‘Like I said, you’re not seriously driving in your condition.’


	4. Beef Jerky

Hasch drummed his fingers on his forearm. He sighed.

‘Kan, you had one job.’

The guy shook his head, his dreads swaying. ‘I told you he wouldn’t listen but you still insisted on me going.’ He looked at Hasch, his milky eyes impassive. ‘What did you expect would happen if he saw me?’

‘It would hurt him, for one. He looks up to you.’

‘At one point. I’m no longer important to him.’

‘You underestimate little Shuu, Kan. You were once his teacher. He respects you.’

It was Kan’s turn to sigh. Hasch would never get it. True he had had a special bond with Shuu. He still remembered the stubborn little boy who thought that just because his teacher was blind, he could get away with anything. Even hiding the hate he felt towards their boss. Kan didn’t care about that. He was there to make a soldier out of the kid. He had no reason to develop sympathy for him.

And yet.

When Shuu laughed, the whole room laughed with him. When he told a story, everyone listened. He was adored. You couldn’t help but be charmed. Kan had wondered why the boss had been so adamant to train him to become a weapon. He didn’t understand it at first. But after several sessions, he finally saw that charm. And the poison. He wasn’t just any weapon. He was the perfect weapon.

Why was the boss that obstinate on keeping his toy? Was Shuu that desirable that he was irreplaceable now? Had the boss not invested so much into him, would he be chasing him all the way to another city?

‘Do you know where he’s going?’ Kan asked measurably.

He could almost hear the smirk in Hasch’s voice. ‘I don’t believe I am obligated to tell you that, Kan. You were only hired to sway Shuu, not play at the big boys table.’

‘I came out of retirement for his well-being. I can just as easily walk away and find him myself.’

‘So you think you know where he is?’

‘Not for certain.’

‘Care to share?’

Kan smiled. ‘Now, Hasch, I don’t believe I am obligated to tell you that.’

* * *

‘Oi.’

Kenny hung out the window, bored out of his mind. I threw my bag of convenience store goodies in the back and clambered into the car, chewing on a beef jerky stick.

‘What?’ I uttered.

‘Did you get me one?’ he asked.

‘No beef jerkies in the bag, Kenny,’ Shin said from the back.

He never took his eyes off me. ‘That was inconsiderate.’

‘You didn’t ask for one.’

‘I didn’t know the gas station had them.’

‘You win some, you lose some.’

‘I don’t remember winning anything, especially not a trip to the middle of fucking nowhere.’

I swallowed the last of the jerky and took a swig of water. Yes, I was purposely trying to aggravate him.

‘There’s a safehouse out here,’ I finally remarked, starting up the engine. ‘I’m going to leave you guys there until everything clears up in Victoria.’

Kenny's eyes narrowed. ‘How long might that be?’

‘…I don’t know.’

‘You mean I can’t go home for months?!’ Shin groaned.

‘Technically, it’s just an apartment full of holes so there’s really nothing much to go back to,’ I pointed out. ‘Besides, you could get targeted again.’

‘I’m pretty sure they weren’t shooting me because I forgot to tip my waiter last night.’

‘If they see you again in Victoria, they’ll shoot you without hesitation. That’s why you’re safer out here.’

‘You keep mentioning “they”,’ Kenny cut in. ‘Who are “they” anyway?’

I bit my tongue. I had to stop. They were already involved enough. The boss knew what they looked like; he’d kill them in cold blood. He was heartless like that. It didn’t matter what got in his way he’d plow through them like they were nothing. If given the chance, the boss would’ve killed me too. Although I gave him plenty of opportunities in the past but he never took them. He’d hurt me bad but never kill me.

I wanted him to. I wanted to push him so far that he’d have no choice. I knew my escape was driving him nuts right now. Why else would he send Hasch and now Kan to get me?

My hands tightened around the steering wheel. He made Kan come here. He had no right to do that. I was pissed. Both at him and Kan. The boss could do whatever the fuck he liked but Kan? I thought he had some self-respect. He chose to retire and live peacefully. Why the fuck did he decide to come back? What did he want from all this? What did he want from _me_?

‘Oi, you’re going to tell us or what?’

This Kenny guy was damn annoying. Why the hell was I even risking my safehouse for him? Oh yeah, because he saved my damn life. Fucker…why didn’t he just leave me to die?

‘I’m not,’ I finally answered.

‘Then turn this car around and take us back. Or I’ll make you.’

I had half a mind to let him try. It could make things interesting. Plus it would give me a reason to hit him.

I inhaled slowly. ‘I’m not because the more you know, the more danger you’re in. Trust me, I’m doing you a favor by keeping you in the dark. These people…you don’t want to mess with them. Consider this gesture of mine as a payment for saving me.’

‘What’re you? A martyr?’ Shin huffed and plopped back in his seat. ‘Damn this Tesla is comfy…’

‘Alright, kid,’ Kenny drawled. ‘Have it your way. I’d ask where you’re going after this but I guess that’s confidential too, huh?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Ah, so you can show some respect. That’s a relief.’

When I’m going to sit down and make my to-do list, punching Kenny is going to be a top priority.

I saw a familiar rooster weather vane in the distance. I slowed down. ‘We’re here.’

‘A barn?!’ Shin said incredulously. ‘Your safehouse…is a barn?!’

‘We also have ponies,’ I remarked and unlatched the front door. ‘Would you like to see?’

Chickens clucked about the floor. The top rooster eyed us all fiercely, as if we’d come to steal the eggs. Maya nudged her nose at my elbow and flipped her mane. Always the attention-seeker.

‘I see you,’ I whispered, petting the side of her face while laying my head against her side. She was so warm and comforting for a horse. I instantly felt calm.

‘So…where do we sleep…?’ Shin muttered, eyeing the bales of hay in the corner and pinching his nose at the stench.

‘You’re standing on it,’ I said. Shin looked down at the straw-covered floor.

‘…I’m sorry what?’

I sighed and flicked my wrist at him to indicate that he moved. He hopped back. I got on my knees and pressed an ear to the floor. I tapped the ground a couple of times.

‘Kenny, you really brought home a piece of-’

Someone tapped back on the other side. Shin’s eyes widened.

‘What the-?’

A loud creaking echoed in the barn. The trapdoor fell back to reveal a grinning blonde, voluptuous woman.

‘Well, well, Shuu,’ she cooed. ‘You brought some handsome ones with you today. Glad to see you’re still alive.’

I grinned back. ‘Likewise, Giku.’


	5. Safehouse

Giku stopped short of the entrance. She turned around and pointed her thumbs in opposite directions.

‘Coat check, Shuu,’ she exclaimed and smirked. ‘You know the rules.’

Rolling my eyes, I lifted the lapels of my jacket so she could see. With hardly a care for personal space, she patted me down. Her hands trailed along my inner thighs. I raised an eyebrow.

‘I’m pretty sure I don’t have any weapons on me, Giku,’ I said dryly.

‘You never know, Shuu-chan,’ she purred in my ear.

‘Considering you snagged my dagger just now, I know.’

Pouting, she twirled my weapon and held it out to me handle first. Pocketing it, I looked back at the two behind us.

Shin’s jaw was on the ground while Kenny was looking elsewhere although I could see his neck had visibly turned pink. ‘They’re clear.’

‘Whatever you say,’ she sighed and rapped on the door.

‘What?! How do you know?! I could be hiding a weapon inconspicuously!’ Shin argued. Kenny whacked him over the head.

The entrance creaked open. Nem gave us a blank stare.

‘Nice to see you, Nem,’ I remarked.

She nodded.

Being here always took my edge off. It wasn’t the poshest of places but it was familiar. And it was secure. I could actually trust the people in that room without having to do a background check.

‘Lookie, lookie!’ Tetsu barked, sauntering over. ‘Still alive, eh?’

‘Doubted me?’ I growled and glared up at the burly man.

He laughed loudly. ‘Never.’

‘Shuu!’

A nimble girl latched onto my arm and grinned. ‘I knew you’d come back!’

‘You always do,’ a voice behind me remarked.

‘Izu thought you weren’t going to make it.’

‘Don’t tell lies, Mo.’ Izu came up and clapped a hand on my shoulder. Unlike everyone else, Izu wasn’t smiling. Which was very typical of him. Hardly gave a moment to relax. ‘Aside from it being great to have you back, you’ve got some explaining to do.’

I nodded. He was right. I owed the group an explanation for cutting them off. It wasn’t intentional. Once the boss figured out my plan, I didn’t want anyone else to get involved. So I cut all ties in case he could trace them through me. I knew they’d all head to the safehouse. Thank God that was the only place I never disclosed to him.

‘Wait.’ I scanned the room. I gritted my teeth. ‘Where’s Ren?’

Everyone went quiet.

‘He’s still in Palace, looking for you,’ Mo said quietly.

‘Shit,’ I swore under my breath. Fuck, of course he would. Ren was one stubbornly loyal bastard. ‘I’ll have to go back…’

‘Go back?’ Izu repeated in alarm. ‘Shuu, why the fuck do you want to go back? You just got out.’

‘If they find Ren, they’ll…’

Fuck, I didn’t want to think about it. Damn it, Ren…

‘We’ll go with you,’ Tetsu growled.

‘No. I don’t want anyone going with me. If Ren’s there then he’s all I need. The less people that are in danger the better. I’m leaving as soon as I debrief everyone.’

‘You better come clean, Shuu. No more secrets,’ Izu demanded. He never accepted my decisions. I never held it against him. It was just his way of showing that he cared.

‘I know what the boss was trying to hide from me.’ I clenched my hands into fists. ‘My dad is still alive.’

Giku gasped. ‘But the boss killed him! He said so!’

I shook my head. ‘He lied. He wanted to stop me from looking for him. If I knew, I would’ve left in a heartbeat.’

‘Bastard…’ Tetsu muttered.

‘There’s an information broker in Victoria who knows where my dad is. But before I could get to him the boss found me. That’s why I came here. I was planning to leave tomorrow but Ren’s in danger. I’m hoping he’s avoiding the gangs. Hasch’s probably got them on the lookout for us.’

‘Ren’s slick. Those duds don’t stand a chance,’ Giku said fiercely.

‘I’m with you on that, Giku. I’m gonna get him out and we’ll go to that info broker before coming back. In the meantime, I need you guys to stay put and hold the fort. Also…’

I jerked my head to the two behind me. ‘Anyone care to babysit till I get back?’

‘I’ll take the big guy,’ Giku giggled.

‘I’m here too!’ Shin piped up, sounding irritated.

‘Didn’t take you as the social type, Shuu,’ Izu remarked.

‘I didn’t have a choice…’ I stood arms akimbo. ‘I’m gonna need a ride as well. Driving a Tesla isn’t exactly discreet.’

Tetsu’s eyes almost popped out of his sockets. ‘Why the hell did you steal a Tesla?!’

‘He didn’t steal it. It’s mine,’ Shin piped in. Kenny whacked him again. ‘My friend’s, I mean.’

Tetsu ignored him. ‘I’ve got my bike in the back, Shuu.’

‘Thanks.’ I nodded at everyone. ‘Always a pleasure seeing you guys.’

They all nodded back solemnly. They knew I was being serious. I think they also knew why I was saying that. There was a slim chance I might never get to.

As I walked past Kenny, I noticed his hands were balled into fists but his face was calm as he watched me. I could tell he wanted to stop me but that would’ve been against his nature. Since we met, he’d been pretending not to care about me. I didn’t understand why he felt he needed to care. He owed me nothing. And I wanted nothing from him.

‘Wait.’

Izu hurried over. It was just the two of us in the hall.

‘I’m not here to stop you,’ he started. ‘I just think you should head to the info broker first.’

I raised an eyebrow. ‘Why do you say that?’

‘Ren’s a big boy. He can take care of himself. Also, you’re going to need me to talk to this broker.’

‘How come?’

Izu smirked. ‘’Cause I’m sleeping with his boyfriend.’


	6. Sword-in-the-Stone

Giku trailed a finger up Kenny’s arm. ‘So where’re you from, stranger?’ she said in a sultry tone.

Kenny barely glanced at her. ‘Victoria,’ he said gruffly.

‘I’m from Alexander,’ Shin remarked. ‘The upper end, in case you’re wondering.’

Giku’s ignored him. ‘How did you find our Shuu anyway?’

Kenny crossed his arms and closed his eyes. He really wasn’t in the mood to chitchat. He just wanted that kid to come back so he could go back to his normal life. He hadn’t expected to be dragged into a gang war. This was what he got for being nice.

‘He’d been shot. I couldn’t let him walk around town like that,’ he finally answered.

Giku gasped. Tetsu growled.

‘Thank you for helping him,’ Mo said quietly. She was sitting beside Kenny. ‘Shuu doesn’t like to ask people for help.’

‘No kidding. Kid doesn’t accept anything from anyone.’

Mo smiled. ‘He’s…difficult to get along with. But he hates letting people deal with his messes. I think he feels responsible for you two being targeted hence he brought you here. He would’ve never done that for anybody so he must be really grateful to you for saving his life.’

‘…yeah.’

That was going to be his undoing one day. The kid was stubbornly loyal. Like a soldier. Maybe that’s why Kenny got him. And felt stupidly attached.

Stupid kid…

‘So how did a kid like him become a leader of a…um…’ Shin muttered.

‘Of a gang?’ Giku finished. Shin looked at her, surprised that she wasn’t ignoring him anymore. ‘You’ve been around him. You know he’s not just any kid.’

Kenny nodded. It was obvious. He was quick, lightning smart, and resilient. Kids his age were usually engrossed in their phones or some obscure pop band. He was anything but a kid in that sense.

And he was a damn fine shooter. He didn’t just shoot for the sake of it. He shot to kill. Just what kind of life had he been living to become a weapon like that?

Everyone also kept mentioning this “boss”. He knew about gangs and organizations running rampant in Palace. That was normal. There were plenty of syndicates with head honchos that ruled over all the little gangs and their leaders. Maybe Shuu was one of the little guys who had displeased a syndicate boss and now he was on the run. But then what was this about his dad? Why would one of the big bosses care so much about Shuu like that? Who was he that one of the big players felt the need to be personally involved in his life?

‘Just what exactly does this boss want with the kid?’ Kenny said aloud.

There was silence. He noticed them exchanging looks. They obviously couldn’t say. Probably Shuu’s orders.

‘It’s fine,’ he sighed and slid off the bar stool. ‘You don’t have to.’

‘Don’t be mad at him,’ Mo exclaimed. ‘Shuu prefers to keep his life private. There are things even we don’t know about his past. And out of respect, we don’t ask either.’

‘I ain’t complaining. You guys have your loyalties.’ Kenny paused in his tracks and wheeled around to face the lot. ‘I used to be a soldier. Saw a lot of wars, injuries, deaths. I know fear and loyalty. I lived it. And I sure as hell can assure you guys, that I know what it’s like to be haunted by your past. That’s what I see in the kid.’

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and sighed. ‘Whatever. I’m off to sleep.’

He left the room.

‘He’s a bit over dramatic but it grows on you,’ Shin remarked. Then he turned to Giku. ‘So, ever ridden in a Tesla before?’

* * *

Hasch gnashed his teeth.

This was fucking ridiculous.

‘You can’t find any of them?’ he said dryly. The guy in front of him looked like he was shitting his pants. Hasch’s fingers began to itch for a pistol.

‘It…it looks like they all vanished,’ the guy squeaked. ‘Their hideouts have been destroyed so we can’t even salvage them for clues.’

Hasch had to give it to Shuu. Behind that pretty face was a scheming mind. He forgot who he was up against. It was sloppy work on his part. He had to pick up his game from here on out.

‘Get out,’ he uttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. ‘Before I make up my mind to shoot you.’

The goon paled and quickly made himself scarce.

Once alone, Hasch picked up the paper weight on his desk and tossed it lightly in the air. Then, without warning, he hurled it straight through the door. Nobody on the other side said a word. Better the door than them.

‘I ain’t getting that fixed, y’know.’

Hasch rolled his eyes to the figure leaning against the door frame.

‘I’m not in the mood, Bee.’

‘Are you ever?’ Bee ran a hand through his purple mohawk. ‘Little Shuu outsmart you again?’

Hasch plastered a fake smile. He might’ve just found his new target practice.

‘I saw you brought Kan on board too,’ Bee continued. ‘If you ask me, that was a bad move. The guy’s soft on Shuu. He ain’t going to agree with our plans for his old disciple.’

‘Oh? Then what would you suggest, Bee?’ Hasch asked, his voice dripping with acid. Please. He wanted to be enlightened.

‘Aggravate little Shuu. He hates it when he’s not the target. Take your pick from his old gang.’ Bee sauntered over and returned the broken sword-in-the-stone paper weight on the table.

‘If there are any in Palace, please, do share.’

Bee’s grin widened. ‘I thought you’d never ask.’ He pulled out some glossy prints from the lapels of his jacket and tossed them on Hasch’s table. The blonde leaned forward and refrained from showing any reaction.

‘…when was this taken?’ he asked quietly.

‘About thirty minutes ago in Ramen City,’ Bee drawled.

Hasch traced a finger over the photographs, stopping at a redhead bobbing in the sea of people milling through the busy market. 

‘Doing anything this afternoon?’

‘Not particularly. Got something in mind, Hasch?’

‘Thought we could go target practicing. Like old times.’

‘Now you’re talking.’


	7. A Generous Guy

‘So…run by me again how you’re sleeping with his boyfriend _and_ he knows about it?’

‘They have a very open relationship.’

‘Uh huh.’

‘He asks to watch sometimes.’

‘Okay, I really didn’t need to know that.’

Somebody shoot me for letting Izu tag along. And not because of the unnecessary bedroom adventures he was sharing with me.

Nobody from the gang was supposed to get involved. This wasn’t their burden. This wasn’t their dad.

I revved up the little Honda bike and sped up.

I had so many questions; what kind of life we had, what was mom like, what kind of family we were. But most importantly, why did it end up like this? Nobody ever told me how I ended up in the boss’s clutches. And no matter how much I snooped through the private files on the Wandenreich’s database, I could never find the answer. When I wracked my brain hard enough, all I could conjure up from my childhood memories was looking up and seeing the boss smiling at me.

_“You shall be my perfect creation.”_

Those words were forever burned into my memory along with the years of pain and humiliation I suffered at his hands. I refused to break and he refused to give up. And thus he ended up with exactly what he wanted; a perfect doll that killed on command and was compliant in bed. It twisted my stomach.

I knew I was riding a lot on finding my dad. There was a high chance that he wouldn’t want to make nice with me. It hurt to think about that as a possibility. As the _only_ possibility. But at this point, I had nothing else to lose. I couldn’t go back to how things were and I didn’t want to either. What I wanted was to take that step towards being true to myself and not as someone’s plaything.

Weaving through the Victoria traffic, I cut through an alley and veered abruptly in front of a stout building with a brick exterior. A gold nameplate smarted on the door.

_Sosuke Intel, Inc_

_“The pleasure is all yours”_

‘Here.’

* * *

Bee downed the last of his shaved ice and threw the crumpled paper cup on the ground.

‘Fuck, Hasch,’ he groaned as he dragged behind. ‘If I knew it was this sweltering hot, I would’ve thought twice about joining you.’

‘Quit whining,’ Hasch clipped, meandering through the throngs of people. ‘You know why you came. You couldn’t pass up a chance to test out your new toy.’

Bee grinned, unconsciously stroking the handle of his brand-new Desert Eagle. It was huge for no goddamn reason and wasn’t easy to hide which made it a pain to carry in scorching weather. But it was light in the palm and could nail a target 20 feet away. And to top it, it released a ring of fire with every shot. A gun fit for any pyromaniac like himself. He was itching to try it out.

‘Would’ve been something to have little Shuu use it,’ he murmured.

‘Stop praising the brat,’ Hasch spat under his breath.

‘Aw, what happened, Hasch? Thought you adored playing with the pup.’

‘He was fun when he didn’t bite back.’

Bee grinned. ‘But that was his crowning quality. You always said it was no fun in bed if they didn’t fight a little.’

‘Pets need to know their place. When they start acting up they should be put down.’

‘Try telling the boss that. You couldn’t convince him to leave little Shuu even if you got on your knees and begged him.’

Hasch gritted his teeth. Did Bee think he didn’t fucking know that? He knew. Everyone did. Nobody could badmouth Shuu. And even if they did they still pined for him. Hasch hated that and he hated that he was one of those idiots. He had often found himself vividly murdering the boss in his dreams just to claim Shuu as his own. It terrified him.

Finding the brat was tantamount but not because of the boss’s orders. He wanted to test his ability to resist the little wolf. If he could, then he would kill him. If he couldn’t, then he was going to make sure nobody could have him.

‘This little redhead is turning out to be a royal pain to find.’

Hasch rolled his eyes. ‘Little Shuu will come running when he hears his right-hand man is being tortured.’

‘So we have to capture him alive?’

Bee sounded disappointed. Hasch wanted to laugh.

‘We don’t need all the pieces.’

‘Hey, I resent that.’

Both men swiveled around and gapped at an overly tattooed man with obscenely red hair.

Ren grinned. ‘Sup, fellas?’

Bee immediately lunged forward. The redhead side-stepped his attack easily and shoved him gracefully across a table of melons. He toppled onto the other side, crushing some produce along the way and causing the stall owner to titter angrily in Chinese.

‘So what’s this I hear about Shuu? Is he causing a ruckus again?’ He turned on Hasch.

‘And why would I tell you anything?’ the blonde man hissed.

‘Well, you don’t have to. But then I have no reason to hang around.’ With a lazy salute, the man disappeared into the crowd that was quickly huddling around the commotion Bee had created.

Hasch growled low in his throat. ‘BEE! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THERE!’

‘I’m sticky _and_ hot. This is fucking gross,’ Bee whined as the two hurried through the market.

‘You shouldn’t have been so stupid to try and grab him.’

‘I didn’t see you try anything!’

‘That’s why I’m not covered in melon juice.’

‘Fuck you.’

Hasch scanned the crowd and almost missed the end of a red braid trailing into a warehouse. He muttered coordinates into his radio. His men should be here any minute. He knew this warehouse. He often used it as a rendezvous point for the boss’s drug market. That redheaded son of a bitch was cornered.

He pulled out his Browning pistol and cocked it. He signaled to the hitmen on the opposite side. They surrounded the building and blocked all the exits.

He nodded. Everyone slammed doors open and stormed in. They all pointed their guns blindly in the darkness. Who the hell had papered the windows?

Suddenly, the whole place was flooded with blinding bright light. Hasch’s eyes slowly adjusted to the lighting. He looked up and swore.

From every corner, a firearm of every length imaginable was aimed straight at them.

‘Shit,’ Bee breathed, hardly hiding how impressed he was.

‘Now, I’m usually a generous guy,’ the redhead said casually as he strolled up to the railing on the upper warehouse level. ‘But that depends on how much you guys want to test my patience.’

This wasn’t supposed to happen, Hasch screamed in his head. They were supposed to have the upper hand. How the hell did the damn redhead know they were coming?!

‘Do we have to be generous, Ren?’ yawned a short, dark-haired girl, a bazooka aimed right at Bee’s forehead. ‘I’m really not in the mood.’

‘Me neither,’ said a guy with bright orange hair. He was touting a large rifle like he could never miss long-range shots. ‘I’m not a vengeance type of guy but I wouldn’t say no to an opportunity.’

Hasch looked at the kid and instantly recognized him. Damn it. The redhead had gotten the Karakuras. They were the top gang in the Chinese district, with some of the toughest motherfuckers in Palace. Who also held vicious grudges against the Wandenreich.

Fuck. 

‘Easy there, Ru, Ichi,’ Ren said calmly. ‘I don’t believe in mindless killing. Let’s see what we can get out of them first. And if they make me repeat myself, I might change my mind about the mindless killing.’

He cleared his throat, placed a boot on the railing and leaned down, eyes gleaming as brightly as all the weapons in the building. ‘Now then, where exactly is Shuu?’

* * *

‘Do you think we should’ve told them?’ Giku whispered.

Tetsu snorted. ‘What good will it do them to know?’

Mo sighed. ‘Just drop it, Giku. We had orders from Shuu to keep them safe. That didn’t include sharing his past and feeling sorry for them.’

‘I know. I know. I just…’ she bit her lip. ‘Sometimes I hate knowing, you know? About what happened to Shuu.’

‘He didn’t tell us so we could feel sorry for him. Don’t forget, we told him about our pasts too,’ Mo pointed out.

‘But it’s not like ours were as bad. I mean, my parents kicked me out of the house but everything turned out pretty okay after that. I knew who my parents were.’

‘I think it’s better not to know who they are if they did something that shitty to you,’ Tetsu grunted.

‘But to not even know why?’ Giku said in a hushed tone. ‘Wouldn’t that hurt?’

‘Shuu never let it get to him,’ Mo defended. ‘Maybe his dad did sell him to the boss. Maybe he didn’t. Who knows? Isn’t that why he wants to find his dad? To know why?’

‘But what if the boss finds him first? Then what?’

‘Stop that, Giku! I don’t want to think about that ever happening.’

‘But what if it does? What if the boss uses Shuu’s father to make him come back? He’s been his slave ever since he was a little kid. The boss always knew how to manipulate him. He’s going to hunt Shuu down and destroy everything just to keep him by his side. Can you imagine living knowing that that’s the life you are expected to have forever?’

Mo buried her face in her arms, willing herself not to cry. Everything got so intense ever since they moved to the safehouse. She tried so hard to keep it together so Shuu wouldn’t see how worried she was. They all knew what he had suffered. Yet he had put his pain aside to feel theirs and give them a purpose. She was so grateful for him. And now he was out there suffering by himself. She wanted to help him so badly.

Nem poked her. ‘They heard us,’ she said calmly.

‘Who?’

‘The strangers.’ She nodded at the door.

‘Shit.’ Mo scrambled to the doors and threw them open. Nobody was there. She looked around, confused. Where…?

Tetsu sprinted to the garage, just in time to jump out of the way of a speeding Tesla. ‘BASTARDS! COME BACK HERE!’

‘Damn it!’ Giku smacked her forehead. ‘This is all my fault! They heard me blabbing. They’ve probably gone after Shuu. He’s going to be so pissed.’

Mo stood there, slowly collecting herself. She wasn’t mad, which surprised her. She was actually relieved. Shuu would’ve been mad if any of them went after him. But there was something about the bigger guy that made her feel that if anyone was meant to help Shuu, it was him.

She closed her eyes and prayed. Please, let them save Shuu. Before it was too late.


	8. Just Kill me

Izu picked up a magazine on the coffee table and flipped through it. His nose wrinkled in disgust.

‘I always said he had shitty taste in magazines,’ he muttered.

I cocked an eyebrow. ‘Sousuke?’

‘No. Gigi.’

‘Who?’

‘His boyfriend.’

‘Ah.’

I leaned my head back on the pleather couch. What was it with capitalists and their love for pleather? Without fail, every businessman slash lawyer I’ve ever met has had one in their office. They’re uncomfortable, cheap and smelt funny.

‘So what’s our game plan?’ Izu asked.

‘We’ve already negotiated the agreement. I’m just here to exercise my due diligence.’

Izu sighed and dropped the magazine back in the pile. ‘I’m so glad I tagged along. You don’t know Sousuke, Shuu. He wants you to think you have the ball in your court. But he’s just getting ready to serve you.’

I folded my arms and smiled wryly. ‘What would you propose we do?’

Izu mirrored me. ‘Leave it to me.’

Good. Everything was going according to plan. Which meant I wasn’t going to like the results.

A door clicked open and a gaunt teenager stood before us holding a clipboard.

‘Mr. Sousuke will see you now,’ he uttered drearily.

The main office was swanky. It was a circular room with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves embedded into the walls. There were absolutely no corners.

No corners. No sneak attacks. Clever.

The color scheme of the room was palatable. I ran a hand along the back of an armchair. Real leather. I'll be. 

‘Welcome!’

An equally color-coordinated man rose gracefully from his chair. He spread his arms out and smiled warmly. ‘It is good to finally meet the infamous Shuu of the Wandenreich.’

I just nodded. I wasn’t going to rise to his bait. He looked like the kind of man who enjoyed causing fires in the wrong places. But I guess that was his job.

‘Please. Sit. Four, get our guests something to drink. Perhaps-’

‘Water,’ I interrupted.

The gaunt boy in the corner nodded and left. I scanned him quickly and noticed a distinct tattoo behind his ear. It was a stylishly etched number “4”. My heartbeat quickened.

‘I didn’t know you hired assassins as service staff,’ I remarked, lounging in the leather armchair.

‘How astute of you,’ the info broker replied, that warm smile still plastered across his face. ‘But they are not service staff. They are my children. I take care of them and they take care of me.’

I exhaled slowly. I’ve walked into plenty of lion cages. This was no different.

Sousuke directed his attention to Izu who was perusing a bookshelf. He laced his fingers. ‘I haven’t seen you in a while, Izu. Gigi misses you.’

‘I’m sure. What about you, Zen? Don’t you miss me?’ Izu was giving his snake smile. A lot of people don’t know what to make of that smile and if they did, they would know that it was bad news.

Zen seemed amused. ‘I hate to admit it but it hasn’t been much fun since you left.’

I cleared my throat loudly. I wasn’t here to talk bedroom politics.

‘I believe we had an agreement, Sousuke.’

‘Ah, yes, of course. Your…biological father’s location.’

I knew he used those words to rile me.

‘But that is what you get from me. Tell me, Shuu, what do I get from you?’

‘Drinks!’

In walked a spindly man with bangs and a lilac suit that were way too long to be called bangs. He plopped down a tray with tumblers and a giant bottle of scotch.

‘Four told me he was getting water and I was appalled,’ the man cried out with a flamboyant sweep of his hands. ‘We have such special guests who deserve our absolute best, don’t you agree, Zen?’

‘Always, Gigi.’ Zen took his lover’s hand and kissed it gently.

Gigi cocked his head at Izu. ‘You came back.’

‘I can’t seem to stay away, I guess.’

‘Then don’t leave.’ Unlike Zen, this man wasn’t afraid to show his feelings. He basked in them. Admittedly, I was kind of jealous.

Izu glanced at me from the corner of his eye. ‘I have my loyalties to uphold. I’m sure you understand.’

‘That was always your most admirable trait, Izu,’ Zen remarked, rubbing Gigi’s hand. ‘I do apologize, Shuu. We were in the middle of a business deal. Where were we again?’

‘You said you wanted something,’ I said casually. ‘And you want _me_ to give it to you.’

‘Well, I do want many things. What can you possibly sway me with?’

Izu stepped forward. ‘Precisely what your business thrives on: confidential and scandalous information.’

Gigi poured Zen a glass and he sipped at it, not uttering a word. He was listening.

‘Politicians can be such slimey bastards,’ Izu continued. ‘Information about their lives must be valuable.’

‘The more deplorable the better,’ Zen murmured.

‘It must be difficult for your assassins, sorry, your children to extract information about them from their victims. It would be so easy if you could…say…have access to their private email accounts.’

I sighed internally. Now he had Zen’s attention.

Ice clinked in Zen’s glass as he took another sip. ‘I’ve heard you’re quite good at that.’

That was an understatement. Izu could whip up a virus-inducing code in less than 20 minutes that could destroy a supercomputer beyond repair. He would hack into government files for fun just to keep his skills sharp. He thought rubik’s cubes were toys for babies.

‘You have my interest,’ Zen said after a pause. ‘But what certainty do I get that you will uphold your end of the bargain?’

‘If you give Shuu the location,’ Izu replied without missing a beat. ‘I’ll stay.’

I clenched the arms of my seat, willing myself to stay calm. Even though I knew this was going to happen, even though I had planned all of this from the beginning and was glad it was all falling into place, my stomach still turned to leave Izu behind. I felt like I was using his blind loyalty to make this sacrifice for me. The only thing that put me at ease was that he was safe here. Zen’s kids, the Espadas, were not people you wanted to mess with.

Zen and Gigi exchanged looks, devoid of emotion. Gigi got off the desk and sauntered over to Izu. He leaned in close and grabbed a book right by Izu’s ear. I didn’t quite catch it but I knew whispers were exchanged.

He dropped the book in my lap. It looked like a study on the opioid crisis and its repercussions on baby boomers. Riveting.

‘Page 32,’ he said, flashing his teeth.

‘I guess that means we’re done.’ Zen clapped his hands. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I was getting closer and closer to finding him.

‘Izu.’ Gigi gently tugged his hand. ‘Come along.’

He didn’t look at me as he followed the pale man to Zen’s side. It shouldn’t hurt but it did. This might be the last time I saw him before-

Suddenly, the distinct smattering of bullets ripping through wood pierced the air. Everyone jumped to action and trained their gaze on the office door. Izu and I both had our Glocks, Zen pulled out a goddamn Uzi from under his desk and Gigi slipped out a katana from between the bookshelves.

‘What the fuck are you all standing around for?’ Gigi snarled, stormed over to the door and slammed it open without a warning.

We all took cover as bullets rained in. I cocked my gun. I needed to end these bastards.

‘Sword!’ I yelled. Gigi slid his blade to me. I hacked a piece of the desk off. Knowing Zen, it was probably bulletproof and would work well as a shield. I could tell Zen was wishing looks could kill.

Once I was armed, I hurtled through the door. I could feel the force of bullets striking my shield. I didn’t have much time but that didn’t matter. I just needed a clear line between them and me.

I caught sight of a rugged henchman. I aimed and fired, my shot hitting true. Before they even noticed me in their midst, I’d already taken out half of them.

‘Over here!’

‘Shoot him first!’

‘Die, bastard!’

_That’s right. Focus on me. Pick your own death._

Zen let loose with the Uzi at that moment. I kept my ground, wedging the desk piece between me and that bullet maniac. I was glad I hadn’t gone deaf otherwise I would’ve completely missed the sound of a blade whipping through the air.

I spun out of the bullet spray and managed to keep my nose in one piece. I locked eyes with my attacker. White irises stared blankly at me.

‘Fuck…’ I murmured.

‘Language, Shuu,’ Kan replied, lunging forward. His attacks were meant to kill. Too bad. I wasn’t ready to die yet.

I threw my makeshift shield at him. And abandoned my Glock. His sword lodged into the desk and he threw it aside. There a hint of a smile on his lips as he lifted his fists.

I attacked first. I went for an uppercut but he locked my hands and headbutted me. I clenched my teeth so I didn’t bite my tongue off. Using the close proximity and his hold to my advantage, I swung him around and body slammed him to the floor. I couldn’t thank him enough for teaching me that trick.

We leaped apart and circled each other.

‘Shuu, listen to me,’ he said. ‘You don’t have to do this.’

I had to hand it to him, I didn’t expect he would try to reason with me. No one had so far. But Kan never saw me as a weapon first. He always said I could mold myself to be anything I wanted. Too bad the boss wanted to mold me to his liking. And Kan had to obey. Just like I did.

‘That is so cliché, Kan,’ I sighed. I didn’t want to stay and chitchat. I finally had the last piece to my puzzle and I was itching to complete it.

‘I know you’ve never cared what happens to you,’ he continued, ignoring my scoff. ‘But think about what your actions will do to the people you care about. It can put them in danger.’

Bullets and screams and screeching pleather echoed around us. I clenched the book in my hand. I didn’t have time to be lectured. I didn’t know what the boss wanted by sending Kan. But I did know that wasn't why Kan was here. He wanted to believe I was better and wanted to talk me out of this. Not for me. Not for the people I cared about. Just for his goddamn sanity.

‘Kan, do me a favor. And trust me, it’ll be the last favor,’ I drawled. ‘If you truly want to accomplish your goal, then don’t waste your breath talking to me. Just kill me.’

He froze.

I threw the book at him. Like lightning, he caught it before it smacked him in the face. But he never heard me running. I landed a boot right in his chest, sending him sprawling into the pleather couch, causing it to topple backwards and bury him.

_Goodbye, Kan. I hope we never meet again._

‘Shuu! Trouble!’

Izu grabbed my hand and began to drag me away. ‘You need to get out. They’re calling reinforcements.’

‘You need to find cover too!’ I argued.

‘I’ll be fine here. I got Gigi and Zen.’

My heart twisted. ‘Izu-!’

‘I knew!’ he grinned wickedly. ‘What? You thought I was oblivious? There was no way you were going to let me tag along unless you wanted something.’

It sounded cruel coming from him but it was the truth I needed to hear. Fucking hell, why did good people have to suffer for the crimes of the stupid ones?

‘Take him through the backdoor,’ Gigi ordered, running a guy through with his katana. Izu nodded. We snaked our way through while avoiding left hooks, nut taps and head shots. I saw this blue-haired devil plunge his sword through a guy’s skull while laughing his head off. Like I said, don’t mess with the Espadas.

‘Good luck,’ Izu whispered as he busted the door open. And paled. Guns clicked as they all aimed at us. I sidled forward, fingering the other gun tucked in my belt. There was no way I was going to let it end like this.

Suddenly, we were all blinded momentarily by a piercing white light. An engine gunned behind the light.

‘Sayo-fucking-nara!’ rang an all too familiar voice. It sounded like the engine was getting closer. It finally hit me what we were looking at.

‘MOVE!’ I hollered and yanked Izu out of the way before a Tesla drove straight through the crowd, through the door, and into the building itself. Debris rained down on us as the sound almost shattered my ear drums.

‘What the actual _fuck_?’ Izu said incredulously, covered head to toe in plaster. ‘Who-?!’

‘Looks like we missed a party!’ Shin declared, scanning the absolutely mangled office.

‘Shut up!’ Kenny snapped, leaning out the driver’s side. He locked eyes with me. ‘You. Get in.’

Despite my ears ringing and possibly bleeding, I read his lips well enough to know I had to get in that decrepit Tesla if I wanted to live.

Shots fired behind us and a faint crescendo of cheering.

‘We got backup,’ Izu sighed happily.

‘More Espada?’

‘Better.’

‘Who-?’

A shot zipped past all of us. We all turned around in disbelief at our attacker.

‘Oi! What the hell is going on here?’ a tall, domineering female barked, holding a pistol up in the air.

Shin’s eyes bulged. ‘Yoru?’

‘You know her??’ I sputtered.

Shin looked uneasy. ‘Well, you see…’

‘Shin? Is that you? What’s up, buddy?!’ Her eyes traveled to the car and they widened in shock. ‘What the _fuck_ did you do to my car?!’

* * *

‘Fucking bullshit,’ Bee snarled as he jabbed angrily at the elevator call button. ‘Fucking. BULLSHIT. YOU HEAR ME, HASCH?’

‘Loud and clear, Bee,’ Hasch sighed irritably as they both stepped in. ‘Everyone can.’

‘Can’t believe we got outsmarted by a dumb redhead. Whenever I get my hands on him, I’m going to shave him bald and sell those rattails on the black market for nickels. NICKELS, YOU HEAR ME?!’

‘For the last time, I’m pretty sure the whole building can.’ Hasch chewed on his thumbnail viciously.

This was humiliating. Not only had he been outsmarted by the boss’s pet but also by the pet’s pet. This was his lowest point. If anyone found out he might as well kiss his job goodbye and learn how to swim with the fishes.

Bee stomped in a circle in the elevator, gnashing his jaws. Then he stopped and pointed a finger at Hasch, danger gleaming in his eyes.

‘Not a word to anyone,’ he breathed. ‘We need to fix this. Before anyone finds out.’

‘Relax,’ Hasch said calmly. The elevator stopped at their floor. ‘We’ll head to Victoria and smooth things out. The boss will never know what’s wrong.’

‘Never?’ rumbled a voice as the doors parted open. Both men froze. There was only one man who could make them shit their pants and wish they were dead.

‘That’s such a powerful word, Hasch. I might choose my words more carefully if I were you.’


	9. Heartfelt Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love when I can finally write for pleasure again

‘Hate to break the heartfelt reunion but we're wasting time here,’ I snapped, stepping into the clearly rigged match.

Yoru looked at me. ‘And who the fuck do you think _you_ are?!’

‘Hey! We'll save the introductions for later!’ Izu interrupted her. He grabbed my arm. ‘We need to get _you_ out of here!’

‘Get him in the car,’ Kenny growled as he lumbered out of the vehicle.

‘Hate to break it to ya but that car’s totaled!’ Izu snapped. ‘It won’t get past the highway ramp!’

‘Hang on! I have an idea!’ Shin grunted as he wiggled out of the car window.

‘If you think I’m going to lend you another car, forget it!’ Yoru hissed.

‘But I wasn’t even driving it! _He_ was!’ Shin pointed indignantly at Kenny.

‘So you let _your_ friend drive _my_ car into a building and didn’t think for one minute that there was something wrong with that?!’

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. Bullets were ricocheting in the other room and they were leisurely having an argument about passenger seat etiquette. I groaned.

‘If ya’ll aren’t ready to die can you kindly shut the fuck up!’ I yelled. Everyone stopped immediately. I glared at Yoru. ‘ _I’ll_ drive!’

‘And what’re _your_ credentials?’

‘I haven’t rammed any Teslas into a building! How’s _that_ for credentials?!’

Yoru paused for a second. Then she turned to Shin. ‘I like him.’

Another round of bullets went off. They sounded like they were getting closer. She quickly motioned with her hands as she ran out the hole. ‘C’mon!’

‘See? I told you I’d get us a car,’ Shin said smugly.

‘No, you didn’t,’ Kenny muttered.

We raced through the back alleys. So far nobody had followed us. Also, we were blindly tailing a random Amazonian, who had appeared out of nowhere amidst the fighting, without even considering if she was on our side. But Shin seemed to be friends with her. If anyone was friends with that idiot, they couldn’t be consciously bad.

We rounded a corner. My jaw dropped. ‘Ho-ly…’

It was a fucking Bugatti Chiron. Those things were beasts on the streets.

I turned to Yoru. ‘Who _are -_?’

She tossed me the keys. All coyness melted from her face as she looked at the blonde. ‘Shin, I don’t know what you’re doing getting mixed up with these guys but I trust you know what you’re doing. And you…’ she looked straight at me with those sharp eyes, ‘…if anything happens to Shin I will hunt you down.’

She meant it. I wished I could lie to her and say she had nothing to worry about. But with these guys so tangled up in my mess, I couldn’t guarantee their safety anymore. If she was having conflicting feelings about trusting me, her intuition couldn’t be more spot on.

‘Aw, Yoru!’ Shin said tearfully, spreading his arms out to give her a hug. ‘I didn’t know you-!’

‘Later,’ Kenny grumbled and dragged him towards the car.

Izu and I grasped each other’s forearms. ‘Just get back alive, will ya, Shuu?’

‘Hey, don’t go dying on me either.’ I gave a grim smile and hopped into the car. The engine sounded fucking beautiful.

‘What’s the max speed it can dish?’ I asked, revving it up.

‘300?’ Shin mused. ‘But the speed limit on the streets isn’t more than 50.’

I shifted gears. ‘Good. We shouldn’t get caught then.’

‘By who?’

‘The police.’

I almost lost control of the steering wheel when I pumped the accelerator. In no time we were zipping through the roads of Victoria and towards the back country.

* * *

‘Where have I seen her before?’ Kenny mumbled. The dark woman looked vaguely familiar.

‘She’s over at my place sometimes,’ Shin remarked. ‘You even thought we were sleeping together. Wait, sorry, I think that was Hiri. I think you said I would never find anyone and be alone forever. Wait, no, that was also Hiri. Maybe-’

‘The Onmitsukido!’ Shuu said suddenly and slapped the dashboard. ‘That’s where she’s from!’

‘Hey, hey, careful!’ Shin whined. ‘Don’t break this one too otherwise Yoru will personally call for my bounty.’

‘They're assassins,’ Shuu explained, putting a scruffy boot on the plush leather seats much to Shin's chagrin. ‘They get hired to settle disputes. Don’t know who sent one there though.’

‘Could ask Yoru. She’s their boss.’

‘Their _boss_? Now that’s even more messed up.’

Kenny stared at Shin. ‘Why the fuck are you friends with the leader of an assassins club?’

‘We used to go on playdates!’ Shin said defensively. ‘Her mom made the best space brownies!’

Kenny groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. He glanced at the kid who was too honed in on breaking every speed limit.

‘Oi, where are we going?’

‘No idea. Here.’ He handed Kenny a ripped sheet.

‘What is it?’

‘My dad’s location.’

‘Oh, so now we’re going to be honest, are we?’

‘I’m more honest than you,’ the kid scoffed. Kenny tensed. ‘Army doctor my ass. Your sewing was shoddy and when I asked Izu to look you up, all he found was an early dismissal from the army for “bad behavior”. Don’t bullshit me.’

Kenny sighed. Who said you got wiser with age?

‘What do you want to know?’

‘Nothing you don’t want to share.’

He pursed his lips. ‘I refused to shoot a kid.’

‘That’s a dumb reason to dismiss someone.’

Kenny shifted in his seat. ‘He was the son of the Bang Do guerilla movement on the Koco Islands. He had killed hundreds of soldiers and killed even more after I let him go. They caught him in the end and mounted his head on a pike.’

Shin winced. He’d heard the story once before but it got him every time. War made people cruel.

‘Why?’ Shuu asked quietly.

‘To show the locals who’s boss.’

‘No. Why didn’t you shoot him?’

‘…’cause he’d known no other life but to kill. He grew up in that movement and died because of it. And for no damn fucking reason.’ Kenny gazed at the paper in his hand. ‘I could’ve saved him.’

Silence enveloped the three passengers. Shin patted Kenny’s shoulder. ‘It was a long time ago, Kenny.’

‘I don’t want any pity or sympathy,’ Kenny said, waving a hand. ‘Everyone’s gotta do their job. I didn’t do mine so I paid the consequences. That’s that.’

‘Fuck that.’ Shuu gripped the wheel. ‘Nobody is bound by those social constructs and they shouldn’t have to be. And I’ll be damned if anybody ever feels that.’

He exhaled slowly. ‘All my life, I was raised to be the perfect weapon. I was told my real parents were deadbeats who owed debts and got killed for it. That the boss had been so generous to adopt me and raise me and give me the best training money could buy. I could shoot a man 100 ft away with a sniper gun. I could sweet talk the slimiest politician and then slit his throat without hesitation. I was told that was what I was meant to do and for a time, I believed it.’

‘Then I get a child trafficker as a target. And he knew me. He knew me because the _boss_ had sold me to him years ago before buying me back. He told me my dad was still alive and that everyone had lied about it. It was all just a well-orchestrated play to stop me from looking for him. Once I knew the truth it was all over. I was tired of playing the puppet. I wanted to know why. The night you met me was the night I was hightailing it out of there. And I paid for it.’

He rolled his shoulders, probably still feeling the phantom pains from the bullet wound. Kenny vividly remembered the wound and thinking the kid was a goner. And yet, here he was. Kenny felt a strange admiration for the kid. He was a fighter.

‘They keep thinking they can make me come back but I’m proving them wrong,’ Shuu continued. ‘And I’ll keep doing that.’ He went quiet for a minute, as if mulling something over. ‘They know who you guys are. They know your faces. If they find you, they will kill you. I wish I could promise your friend that I will keep you safe. But at this point...I don’t know anymore.’

Kenny tapped a finger on his armrest. ‘It was unavoidable, kid. Don’t beat yourself up over it.’

‘You could’ve avoided this. You could’ve let me die on that port.’

‘…no, I couldn’t. I missed one chance to save a life and I wasn’t going to let another one get away. Sorry, kid, but you’re stuck with us.’

‘Hey, let’s get things straight, I didn’t ask to be involved,’ Shin pointed out. The two glared at him. ‘But for what all it’s worth, I’m glad I’m here too.’ Then he muttered to himself. ‘So much for breaking social constructs…’

‘So, where to?’ Shuu asked calmly. They had left the city far behind them now.

Kenny scanned the paper. ‘If you’re looking for an address, sorry to disappoint. This page has got nothing but an excerpt about a 55-year old geezer who cut down a dozen elm trees to grow poppies for his opium addiction.’

‘Your dad was an opium addict?’ Shin said incredulously.

‘No, you idiot,’ Shuu groaned. ‘The address is hidden in that page. That is page 32, right?’

‘Yup. Page 32, Chapter 1.’ Kenny raised an eyebrow. ‘You sure there’s an address here?’

‘Zen’s a bastard. He wouldn’t tell me outright. He’d make me work for the answer. Ugh, fuck. Here, take the wheel.’

‘What-?!’ Shuu took his hands off and snatched the paper from Kenny who scrambled to grab the wheel so they wouldn't go crashing into a ditch. ‘Are you crazy?!’

Shuu paused as he scrutinized the page. Then a grin cracked his face. ‘Fucking slimeball.’ He scrunched up the paper and threw it in the back, resuming control of the vehicle. ‘I know where to go.’

‘Are we still alive?’ Shin said shakily, peeking between his fingers.

‘How did you get anything out of that?’ Kenny asked, trying to slow his racing heart.

‘I knew how to look for clues in word puzzles since I was twelve. Trained weapon, remember?’

‘Were you trained to do CPR too?’

‘What?’

‘Nothing. Just give me a warning next time you decide to kill us.’

* * *

_“Thank you for riding with us. We look forward to having you again. Have a great day!”_

The boss inhaled deeply. ‘I always like coming to Victoria,’ he rumbled. ‘Much less chaotic.’ He inclined his head to Hasch. ‘Did you get in touch with our allies?’

Hasch nodded stiffly. ‘They are waiting for us as we speak, sir.’

‘Excellent. Oh, and Hasch?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Please don’t disappoint me again.’

He gritted his teeth. ‘Of course.’

_I promise, sir, when I claim Shuu as mine and drive a bullet through your skull, that’ll be the last disappointment._


	10. Remember

‘That’s it! I’m sick of waiting!’ Tetsu roared, twirling a baseball bat and storming towards the exit. ‘I’m going out there!’

‘Tetsu! You can’t do that!’ Ran cried out and blocked the door with her arms spread out. ‘Not until we hear from Shuu!’

‘For all we know he could be dead out there!’

‘Don’t you dare say that!’

They both turned around to see Mo standing defiantly, her eyes ablaze.

‘Those bastards are not even half the fighter Shuu is! If you think he’s dead then you doubt him _and_ his trust in you!’

Tetsu’s face colored and he hung his head in shame. ‘Shit, I’m sorry, Mo, I didn’t mean no disrespect,’ he mumbled. ‘It’s just…I feel so helpless cooped up in here.’

‘I know, Tetsu.’ Mo’s face had softened. ‘He will call us. I just know it.’

She looked up at the basement ceiling, mind wandering to the world above. She knew how Tetsu was feeling. How all of them were feeling. If something happened to Shuu and they did nothing to help, they would be haunted by their actions for the rest of their lives.

The only thing that gave her reprieve was that at least he had Izu and those other guys. The fact that people like them existed made her believe there was still some good left in this world. She was glad that some of it had found its way through the dark and dinghy underworld and stuck to Shuu. If anyone deserved kindness, it was him.

Suddenly, the ceiling shuddered. A trail of dust trickled down and pooled at Mo’s feet. Her heart leapt into her throat. Everyone went deathly silent.

Someone was here.

Tetsu rolled his bat into position for a swing. Ran unraveled her whip while Nemu grasped the handles of her sais as they slid out from under her sleeves. Mo squeezed her eyes shut and exhaled as quietly as she could. She stretch a hand behind her and felt the top of her flamethrower. 

_We're going to stay alive. So hold on, Shuu._

Without warning someone kicked the main entrance open, sending up a cloud of dust. The soft outline of a person was visible in the doorway. Everyone charged.

‘Woah! Did I miss the memo or are we killing our guests before we get to know them?!’

Mo halted. She blinked in disbelief. ‘REN?!’

‘Holy shit!’ Tetsu roared. ‘This motherfucker is still alive!’

Ren gave a toothy grin. ‘I’m equally surprised, you bastard.’ He glanced around. ‘Where’s Shuu?’

Everyone’s grin disappeared. ‘He went looking for you,’ Ran said quietly.

Ren’s brow furrowed. ‘Hasch told me he was in Victoria looking for the info broker.’

‘If he is not with you or us, he must have gone to the info broker,’ Nemu said.

Ren banged a fist against the door. ‘Shit. That’s not good.’

Mo’s face tightened. ‘What’s going on, Ren?’

He took of his sunglasses. His eyes looked fearful. ‘Shuu’s in trouble.’

* * *

I looked up at the rickety house on the hill. It was surrounded by a sea of long grass, swaying where the wind commanded. The walls and porch were a dull brown; some of the boards looked rotted. Engraved on a board was 5512 Elm Street.

Zen was a goddamn son of a bitch.

Gravel crunched under my feet as I made my way up. I grasped the handrail and felt a strange groove. It was a lopsided smiley face. Under it were the initials “S.H.”. An iron fist gripped my chest.

‘Still can’t believe you figured out that address.’ Kenny came up next to me. He glanced up at the place. ‘How old were you?’

I was already on the porch, hand trailing over the rocking chair. ‘Young enough not to remember anything.’

My voice sounded strange. I felt out of place. This was supposed to be my home. There were clear signs that a child used to live here. An overgrown sandbox. Faded crayon marks on the rocking chair. A dusty baseball in the corner.

I had no memory of any of them. It was frustrating.

_He took it from me. He took it all away and turned me into an empty shell._

I inhaled deeply to quell the anger threatening to bubble over. It was time I learned the truth.

I rapped loudly on the door. A minute passed. Then two.

I knocked with a fist this time.

‘Oi! What if no one’s home?’ Kenny growled.

Shin peered into a window. ‘It looks pretty dead inside,’ he commented. ‘You sure someone still lives-?’

‘Yes,’ I said impatiently. ‘The rocking chair was warm, like someone had just been sitting in it. They must have gone inside when they saw our car coming up the hill.’

I banged with both fists. ‘Oi! Let us in or I’ll kick the door down! You hear me?! I said-!’

The door suddenly swung open. I blinked in surprise. A tall, robust man with dark eyes and light hair glowered at me.

‘I heard you,’ he said sourly. ‘Though people usually leave when others are pretending not to.’

I looked straight back at him. ‘Fat chance.’

He snorted. He had a slight wolfishness to his mannerisms. I noticed him look over me and caught a strange expression flit across his face.

‘Erm…’ I cleared my throat. ‘Do you…know who I am?’

He sighed. ‘I suppose you came for answers. Sorry to disappoint but you won’t find them here. I don’t care what anyone told you, there’s nothing here for you.’

He was about to close the door but I quickly wedged a foot in.

‘They told me I’d find my father here. I don’t care if I get to meet him or not. I just want to know the truth.’

I expected an outright dismissal. But he hesitated. My suspicions on his identity was confirmed.

‘You’d better come inside for this,’ he finally said in defeat. He looked behind me. ‘They can come too if they want.’

‘The inside’s not too shabby,’ Shin remarked, glancing at the frilly sofa, landscape paintings and doily-covered side tables. ‘Does the missus like to decorate?’

‘Did.’

‘Oh. Ah, sorr-’

‘Don’t be. It was ten years ago.’

I froze. That was roughly around the time I had showed up on the boss’s doorstep. So he had my mother killed before he took me away. His heartlessness never ceased to amaze me.

I made my way to the fireplace mantle. There was a single portrait on it. It framed a doe-eyed woman with long, dark hair. I shivered. I looked like a carbon copy of her.

I found myself holding the picture, as if it might help me remember her. Remember her warmth, her kindness, her love. But I kept pulling up a cold, unnerving blank in my mind. I felt overwhelmed by my guilt for not recalling this dead woman. Why did she have to die? Why couldn’t it have been me?

‘Why?’ I said aloud to no one in particular. I stared at the man. ‘Why did it have to be her?’

He closed his eyes and sighed. ‘I’ve asked myself the same thing,’ he murmured as he reopened his eyes. ‘I begged to be taken in her place. But he felt betrayed, you see. And when he had his mind set on something, no one could undo it.’

I gritted my teeth. I knew that all too well. I had to grow up and learn that the hard way.

‘She jilted him. And he hated her for it,’ I said coldly. ‘Then he killed her and took me away. Is that it? Is that what everyone had been trying to hide from me?’

‘Does it matter why? What will you gain from knowing?’

‘…All my life, I thought I had nothing because that was what I deserved. I’m tired of being told what I should be. I want to find that out myself.’

‘You won’t find anything but hate and anger here. Heed my advice and leave. The truth will hurt you.’

‘Shuu…’ Kenny murmured. I forgot he and Shin were present. They looked skeptical. If they didn’t want to be here they could leave. I wasn’t going anywhere. Not until I learned the truth.

I took a step towards the man. ‘You’re one to talk. You keep looking at me with so much guilt and pain. Why? What are you afraid of?’

He balled his hands into tight fists. ‘Don’t question things you don’t understand.’

‘You never came looking for me. Did he scare you into staying away? Is he doing that right now?’

His face tightened. ‘We had an agreement.’

‘What kind of agreement?’

‘It’s confidential.’

‘Fuck confidential. It doesn’t matter. I’m not his property. He can’t keep me away from my family.’

The man was silent for a minute. ‘You don't know what you're getting yourself into.’

‘What do you mean? He’s been trying to stop me from finding you this whole time. Once I found you I would finally know what a scheming-’

‘You don’t understand.’

‘You don’t have to pretend anymore. I know who you are. You-’

‘Please, listen to me.’

‘-loved my mother and it killed you to give me away. That’s why-’

‘I need to tell you that-’

‘-I know it’s hard but-’

‘-the truth is-’

‘-you can say that-’

‘I’m not your real father, damnit!’ he yelled. Silence hung in the air.

‘What do you mean?’ I said quietly. My heart was pounding in my ears. I wanted to believe he was lying. That he was just saying that to make me leave. But the way he said it, the anguish that laced that sentence, cut me deep.

He looked shocked for a minute, unable to believe that I was actually listening. Then, he quickly left the room and came back with a piece of paper scrunched in his hand. It was tattered around the edges and yellowing from age. He thrust it forward.

‘Here,’ he muttered. It crackled as I held it up.

‘…what is it, Shuu?’ Kenny asked.

I licked my lips. ‘A birth certificate.’ I couldn’t tell if that was my voice or someone else’s. ‘ _My_ birth certificate.’

I stared at it and blinked a couple of times. I didn’t know why I stared at it for so long. That wasn’t going to change the name on the paper just as it wasn’t going to change the truth.

I handed it back, refusing to make eye contact. ‘I’m sorry for bothering you,’ I mumbled.

The broad man clutched the paper tightly. ‘Look,’ he said, his voice now gentle. ‘I didn’t mean for it to be this way. I just…I just couldn’t keep this from you anymore.’

I stared at the floor. ‘I wish you had,’ I said hollowly and quickly turned on my heel to walk out of the house, past a shocked Kenny and Shin.

‘Shuu!’ Kenny burst through the door after me. ‘Shuu, wait-!’

‘We’re leaving,’ I said sharply. I yanked the car door open. ‘You guys coming or what?’

‘Look, so what if he’s not your real dad?’

Damn it, could he ever take a hint?

‘If you’re not getting in, I’m leaving you guys.’ I got into the driver’s seat and started revving up the car.

The passenger side opened aggressively and Kenny’s massive frame towered over me. He quickly turned the car off. I glared daggers.

‘We’re leaving,’ I snapped and attempted to start the car again. He held my hand in place.

‘It doesn’t matter who you’re supposed to be,’ Kenny said gruffly. He didn’t sound pissed or sympathetic. ‘Don’t let that decide who you are now.’

‘It doesn’t. Are you happy? Can we leave? I don’t want to be here anymore.’

‘Only when you stop moping like an angsty teenager.’ And he pulled the keys out of the ignition.

Without warning, I aimed a punch at his jaw. He blocked me with an elbow. I tried again for his ribs. He grabbed that hand. I lunged for his eyes, wanting to blind him. He easily grabbed my wrist and calmly stared at me as I was locked helplessly in his grasp. I struggled. I knew that I was being absolutely reckless and stupid. But I didn’t care. I had no reason to care about anything now. Why should I when my world had been shattered by a damn piece of paper.

‘FUCK!’ I yelled, finally accepting defeat and crumpling in his hold. ‘FUCK! OKAY! I GET IT! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK ME! I DON’T DESERVE HAPPINESS! JUST LET ME GO ALREADY! I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE! I DON’T WANT TO BE ALIVE ANYMORE! JUST LET ME DIE!’

I screamed. I screamed until I was hoarse and tears trickled down my face. Only then did he let go and let me slump against the window in a sobbing mess.

‘It’s not fair,’ I blubbered. ‘I thought it couldn’t get any worse. How is it that right when I think the world has already fucked me over enough it comes out of nowhere with something like this?’

‘’Cause the world’s already fucked up,’ Kenny sighed. He gazed out at the rolling hills. The tall grass swayed under the gentle wind, like an endless green sea. ‘It’s just taken us this long to figure it out.’

I sniffed loudly and wiped my nose. Ugh, this was disgusting.

‘Since when did I snivel and whine like a fucking kid…’

‘That’s because you are one,’ Kenny reprimanded. He rubbed his forehead. ‘Look, we’ll find your real dad.’

I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes. ‘I know where he is.’

He frowned in confusion. ‘Who-?’

He looked at me. I don’t know what was written across my face but he put two-and-two together real quick. His eyes widened.

‘No…’

We both glanced up the road. There was a faint sound of whirring engine in the air. Suddenly, a large black vehicle crested over a hill, gaining speed as it headed this way. Following close behind was an entourage of similar cars all zooming in the same direction. My mouth felt dry.

‘We’ve got company,’ I muttered.


	11. Get Freaky

Kenny got out of the car cautiously.

‘Stay inside,’ Shuu muttered.

‘Like hell.’

 _They’re going to shoot at us regardless of whether you use yourself as a human shield,_ Kenny thought, eyeing the entourage. 

To his surprise, the cars didn’t try to bulldoze them over. Instead, they lined up on the other side of the hill, leaving a sizeable distance, and a valley, between them. Kenny didn’t know whether that should be comforting or not.

A dark figure clad in a crisp business suit climbed out of one of the cars but not before someone had scurried over to open the door for him. Judging by the way Shuu’s body tensed up, Kenny didn’t need a second guess to know who he was.

His companions were polar opposites, one with an obnoxiously purple mohawk and the other with hair so blonde it looked white. Both mirrored grim looks. Their boss, however, had a bemused smile. He whispered something to the blonde, who seemed to lose even more color from his pale skin. The henchman inclined his head and began to traipse down the valley.

‘I’m going,’ Shuu muttered from the corner of his mouth. Kenny looked at him sharply.

‘They’re going to kill you,’ he growled.

‘They followed me to the end of the world instead of blowing me up in Victoria. Doubt it. The boss wouldn’t let them touch a hair on my head.’

‘Shuu, you can’t-’

‘I won’t know until I know. Don’t try and stop me, Kenny.’

He had to grip the car door handle to stop himself from grabbing the kid. This was suicide. People like the mafia had no sense of honor nor respect for it. They were going to slit Shuu’s throat and come for them next.

‘What the hell did you just let him do?’ Shin hissed next to him.

‘If I could make him do anything, trust me, we wouldn’t be in this mess,’ Kenny growled. ‘I’ve got no doubt things are going to go sideways soon and we need an escape plan.’

‘Did you check the trunk?’

‘The trunk?’

‘Of the car. Yoru always has some cool knickknacks she’s forgotten. She had a loaded bazooka and some smoke pellet packs in her Tesla.’

‘And you failed to mention this because…?’

‘I dunno. I thought she used them to get freaky with her partners or something.’

Suddenly, audible sounds of scuffles and yelps of pain echoed from the valley. Kenny swore softly. If they got out of this alive, he was reserving the right to say “I told you so” to the kid.

‘Shin!’

‘Right! Time to play the age old favorite game of What’s in My-SHIT!’

Shin backtracked as a bullet ricocheted off the hood of the car, leaving behind the tiniest of dents. He stared at it in horror and whimpered. ‘I’m a dead man…’

‘GET DOWN!’ Kenny roared and almost crushed the blonde as he tackled him to the ground. Bullets pinged off the Chiron. He yanked open a door to get more cover. All he needed now was a chance to reach over and grab the-

A powerful rifle shot echoed across the landscape. Kenny and Shin looked in bewilderment at the source of the sound.

The broad-shouldered man stood on the porch, legs apart and a particularly nasty rifle with a smoking muzzle in his hands. He reloaded it, sending a bullet the size of a baby duck flying across the lawn. He gazed at the two of them with a steely eye.

‘Need a hand?’ he declared.

* * *

‘We meet again, Shuu,’ Hasch said with a forced smile.

‘Fuck you.’

‘I see being away hasn’t helped your etiquettes.’ His eyes roamed the young wolf, drinking in the taut shoulders, the toned legs, the angry scowl. How he had missed this sight. He couldn’t wait to mar that perfect face with sweet pain. ‘The boss is offering a proposition.’

‘An unfair one, I'm sure.’

Hasch flicked his eyes at the house as he crossed his arms. If Koma had kept his end of the bargain, then no one would get hurt. He fingered the blade hidden up his sleeve.

Pity.

‘He wants you to come home. He’ll spare your friends as long as they never come back to Palace.’

‘What about the old man in the house?’

‘Koma and the boss had an agreement long ago. As long as he’s honored it, the boss will leave him alone.’

He mirrored Hasch’s posture. ‘Will he tell me the truth?’

Hasch’s smile froze. ‘Now, Shuu, we’re getting greedy here.’

Shuu’s eyes hardened. ‘Will he tell me the truth, Hasch?’

_“If you get the slightest sense that he knows, kill him,” the boss murmured in his ear._

_Bastard_ , Hasch thought bitterly. _You’ll make me do it but you won’t dirty your own hands. You’ve shown your weakness. I can’t promise I won’t use it against you._

He sighed. ‘He gave me his word, Shuu. Is that good enough?’

The boy studied his face. Hasch kept a straight expression but could feel his patience trickling away. It had been way too long since he had stabbed someone and his hand was really starting to itch.

The boy uncrossed his arms. ‘You still wear your emotions on your sleeve, Hasch,’ he murmured. ‘You hate the boss. And you’re going to use me to hurt him. Not that I’m against that but that means he’ll never tell me the truth. So I’ll never know who my real dad is.’

_He knows._

Within the blink of an eye Hasch had unsheathed his blade and lunged at Shuu. The two tumbled to the ground, rolling around as the boy held off the blade from piercing his shoulder. The same one that had been torn through with a bullet.

‘You always thought you were better,’ Hasch spat. ‘Whoring your way to the top. It’s time I put you in your pla-FUCK!’

He yelped in pain as he got a well-aimed kick to both knees. He swore he heard one of them crack. His senses were soon filled with the sounds of gunfire and the acrid smell of metal.

He staggered to his feet. It was over. Shuu was outnumbered. The boys were loyal to him. He was going to have them turn on the boss and then leave with Shuu, bound and gagged if needed.

He suddenly noticed that there weren’t any bullets flying over his head. He could still hear scuffles and gunshots but they were concentrated on one side. What the hell was going on?

‘OI!’

He looked up just in time to dodge a boot to the face. It was the damn silver-haired bastard. And he was hefting two Browns.

The man grinned at Shuu. ‘The cavalry’s here,’ he exclaimed.

Shuu stared in disbelief at the other side and then laughed raucously. ‘Fucking Ren!’

Hasch saw red. Fuck this.

Letting out a roar of fury, he launched himself at Shuu. He’d rather kill the kid than lose him. His rage must have completely blinded him because he never saw the other guy coming. He ate a mouthful of dirt, feeling his nose burn from being run into the ground. A gun clicked close to his ear and cold metal pressed against his temple.

‘Go on, kid. I got him.’

‘I owe you, Ken.’

‘Just don’t die.’

‘Why does everyone keep saying that to me?’

‘Guess too many people care about ya.’

_Yeah. Too fucking many._


	12. The Lone Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catharsis is both a beautiful and sad moment

Ken tossed me a gun. ‘You’re gonna need it.’

I saluted him with it and took off. Time I finally sorted my shit out.

As soon as I crested the top, a flunky aimed a gun at my forehead. I sunk low and spun my feet out to knock him down. Swinging upright again, I drove the butt of the gun between his eyes. I didn’t want to shed any unnecessary blood. Plus, I was saving my bullets for one motherfucker.

‘Hey!’ Ren shouted. He locked a guy’s head in his armpit and punched him unconscious.

We bumped fists and grinned. ‘I thought you were dead,’ I remarked.

‘Was pretty sure I’d find your body in the canals tomorrow.’ He cocked his head towards the cars. A figure was being heavily protected on all sides. I narrowed my eyes. ‘You sure about this?’

‘More than anything in my life.’

‘You know I’ve got your back, Shuu.’

‘I’ve never doubted it.’

We pelted down the yard, dodging bullets and knocking out anyone in our path. Felt like old times.

The boss looked our way. He wore an ugly expression. Good. He knew I wasn’t going to go down easy.

Suddenly, my view was blocked by an obnoxious tuft of purple.

‘You’re gonna stop right there, little wolf,’ Bee laughed. He was holding what looked like a regular Desert Eagle in his hand. He took aim and fired. A trail of flames shot out of the barrel. My eyes widened in horror.

‘GET DOWN!’

Ren skidded in the grass and fell backwards. He swore loudly. ‘Fucking psycho!’

I tried to take aim with my own gun but Bee was quicker. I barely rolled away, flames licking my exposed skin.

‘Oi! Over here! Come get me, you lollipop!’

Ren waved his arms, trying to get Bee’s attention. Damnit, Ren, nobody asked you to be bait!

Bee looked at him and then at me, his lips curling into a smirk. ‘I ain’t that dense! No way I’m taking my eyes off the prize!’ He whipped around and trained his gun on me. My legs tensed, ready to spring. ‘I’ll try not to disfigure that pretty face for Hasch.’

A blade pierced his foot. Bee screamed bloody murder and crumpled. Kan twisted the blade even further.

I stared at him in disbelief.

‘Well? What are you waiting for?’ Kan said calmly.

‘Yeah, but, what the hell are you-?’

‘You said it yourself, Shuu, if you want to achieve your goals, then don’t waste your breath talking.’

I clamped my mouth shut. Ren shrugged his shoulders and took off towards the boss. I started to follow but stopped and glanced at Kan. ‘Why…?’

He wrung his blade deeper in Bee’s foot, making him screech and writhe in pain. He finally looked at me with those clear eyes. ‘I’m not Yhwach, Shuu. Don’t ever put me in the same category as him again.’

I gulped. I felt like the same immature kid he used to chastise back in my training days. I guess I never grew up.

‘Stop wasting time. Go get him.’

‘…Kan? I’m sorry if I ever disappointed you.’

I left before he could get another word in. No way was I letting him one up me now.

I sprinted past Ren who was sitting on top of guy and making him eat dirt. ‘He’s all yours, Shuu!’

‘You’re not going any-HEY!’ a henchman yelled before I grabbed his gun arm, pivoted, and threw him over me. Still in momentum, I spun a foot up and dislocated someone’s jaw. Flipping my gun, I used the butt to conk people out.

One guy ran screaming at me, flailing his arms like a demented windmill. I dodged two swipes before opening a car door into him. He folded in a heap. I locked eyes with the boss as I stepped over the body.

He gave an aggravated sigh. ‘Well, this is embarrassing. And here I thought I brought my best.’

‘Give me one good reason not to shoot you right now.’

‘So blunt. Your mother was softer.’

I shot. My bullet lay embedded in the door frame, right next to the boss’s head. He hadn’t flinched.

‘That was shoddy. I thought all that training would’ve made you a better marksman.’

‘All that training only made me a monster like you.’

‘Like me? Oh no. Shuu, you were supposed to be better.’

Like lightning, he pulled out a gun and fired. I wasn’t expecting him to be that quick. My reflexes only allowed me to move enough to make the shot nonfatal. I grabbed my arm, wet with blood from the bullet scrape.

He opened his arms. ‘You were always a taker, Shuu, always wanting more. Now look where that’s landed you. Tell me, is it worth your friend’s deaths?’

He was taunting me. I tightened my grip on the pistol, my body shaking in anger.

‘Why me? I was just some trafficker’s property. You had no reason to care. So why did you?’

His smile was gone. He lowered his arms, silent. It made my blood boil.

I banged the hood of a car. ‘ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!’ I roared.

He sighed. ‘If you have to ask, Shuu, then that means you're too scared to admit it yourself.’

I closed my eyes for a second, letting that sink in, letting it corrode my insides and rip me to shreds. I looked at him. And began shooting like a madman while running towards him.

I was missing every shot. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I didn’t think it would affect me this badly. I needed to focus. Otherwise I was going to run out of-

The gun clicked empty. Shit.

He was only an arm’s length away. Hearing the empty barrel, he smiled, grabbing the front of my shirt and driving a knee into my gut. I wheezed, feeling the pain course through my body. I tried to twist out of his grasp but he held on firmly. He tossed his gun and grabbed my arm with both hands, twisting it behind my back and earning an agonizing cry from me. He shoved me against a car, pinning me there with his body. I tried to buck him off, but he had me good and tight. I swore every obscene word I knew.

‘You think you were wronged?’ he murmured in my ear. ‘She said she loved _me_. She _lied_. How could she when I gave her _everything_?’

He wrenched my arm again. I thought it was going to pop out of its socket.

‘But I was merciful. I asked her for one night in exchange for leaving her and her decrepit boyfriend alone. And then, what do I hear? She went and had a _child_. How _dare_ she try to be happy without me? That’s when I realized that as long as she was alive, I could never be happy. She would always remind me of what I lost, what I could’ve had.’

I swung my head back and was satisfied to hear a crunch. He grunted, loosening his grip. I launched myself off the hood and straight at him, knocking him down. His gun lay a foot from his head. I locked his arms and tried to reach for it. He quickly rolled us, shoving my shoulders down.

‘Oh, you’re a stubborn bastard! I should've known from the start who the father was,’ he laughed, blood dribbling from his nose to his mouth, staining his teeth. ‘It didn’t add up, you see? Because Koma was barren. No wonder he wanted someone else’s child, the sick pervert. But I realized why you ended up in my lap. You were a gift. Her last gift to me. And I decided, that I was going to make you the _perfect_ gift.’

‘You’re crazy,’ I rasped. I tried to rock him off but his grip was like steel. Where the hell did he get this strength?

‘Perhaps. But I was curious to see what you could be capable of, based on your genetics. And, Shuu, you exceeded my expectations. You were this uncovered treasure of such raw talent! Even I wasn’t as accomplished when I was your age. All you needed were the right teachers and I was willing to shell the money to achieve my goals.’

It was never about me. It was always about him. Him and his fucking delusions.

I spat in his face, satisfied to see my wad spattered across his cheek. He was breathing slowly. I had wound him up quite a bit. Yet he could still maintain the pressure pinning my wrists down.

‘I suppose I forgot one more thing. That a part of you also came from her. And so, I am back where I started.’ He gave a red smile, staring with wild, bulging eyes. ‘She had the last laugh after all. As long as she lives on in you, I’ll never be happy. So there’s only one way to end this.’

He wrapped his hands around my throat and squeezed. I bucked against him, croaking, trying to get some air. It only made him press down harder. The edges of my vision were getting darker.

‘Say hello to Lisa for me.’

Suddenly, he stopped. His fingers slipped off. I coughed violently and shoved him off. He looked at me, shocked, and opened his mouth. Blood gurgled out. I crawled backwards as fast as I could. How…?

‘Fuck you.’

Hasch stood over him, his clothes and hair smeared with mud. He had the same wild, possessive look in his eyes.

‘You always thought you could have anything,’ he breathed. ‘And take anything. Well, you have no right to take him away from me!’

The boss collapsed, vomiting blood, and slowly turned around to face him. ‘Ah, et tu, Hasch?’ he said softly.

Hasch’s gun hand was shaking. But he kept it aimed at the boss’s forehead. ‘Don’t ask for pity. You don’t deserve it. _Don’t you dare move!’_

I swore. I had been trying to make my way to the gun on the ground. Hasch motioned with his gun for me to stand. I held my arms up.

‘Get in the car.’ I didn’t move. ‘Get in the car before I handicap you for life, Shuu.’

I carefully made my way to the nearest car. His gun followed me. My foot caught on a body and I stumbled. Hasch groaned. ‘You’ve got to be kid-’

I grabbed the gun from the unconscious body and shot Hasch in the knee. He screamed in agony. I ran and tackled him hard.

‘Just for the record,’ I spat. ‘I don’t belong to anyone. Not to you. And especially, not to him.’

I got him square between the eyes. I exhaled and staggered to my feet. Fuck, everything hurt.

I looked across the field. It looked like the fight was dying down. Most of the boss’s men were being rallied into a corner. Nem was busy bandaging some unfortunate ones who had broken limbs. People would be surprised to know she had a soft side. Just over the hill, Ken and Shin were huffing over along with Koma.

‘Shuu!’

It was Mo, albeit slightly bruised. She had tears in her eyes. ‘Oh my God, you’re alive!’

I tried grinning but it hurt to smile. ‘Nice to see you too, Mo.’

She smiled. But it quickly twisted into a horrified scream. ‘LOOK OUT!’

A shadow loomed over me. I barely got a glance as I heard the barrel of a gun click ready. ‘It’s not over yet, little wolf…’ Yhwach whispered.

I heard the release. Everything slowed down. I didn’t have time to move. Instead, I got shoved hard and fell sideways. The skin on my elbow burned as I skidded across the gravel. I couldn’t hear anything for a minute, the sound of the gun still ringing in my ears. I scrambled to find my own weapon, aiming blindly with it. I heard a chuckle.

‘I must be the worst mobster ever. Can’t even fucking aim.’

My vision cleared. There was a figure on his knees and another lying motionless. Recognition hit me like a train.

‘KAN!’

I couldn't tell whose voice that was. All I could tell was that my finger squeezed the trigger and drove a bullet straight through the boss’s skull. He keeled backwards and fell. His chest stopped moving. Kan’s was still heaving. Barely.

I scrambled to his side. There was blood everywhere. I turned him over, quickly pressing a palm against the wound.

‘It’s okay,’ I muttered, panic rising in my chest. ‘Everything’s going to be okay, Kan. Mo…Mo! Call an ambulance! NOW! Stay with me, Kan, we’ll get you help…’

His hand found mine and he squeezed. His eyes stared up at the sky. ‘Shuu,’ he said calmly. Way too calmly. It made my anxiety rise faster. ‘I need to tell you something.’

‘You can tell me afterwards, Kan. Just keep breathing. I need you to stay with me. Don’t…don’t leave me, okay? Nem! Bring those bandages!’

‘No…I should…say it now…before I forget…’

‘I’ll remind you, Kan. I promise. Just breathe. In and out. In and-’

‘Shuuhei…’

I was falling to pieces. I couldn’t even keep the wound closed because my hands were shaking so hard, slick with his blood.

He smiled at the sky, raising his hand to touch my cheek. ‘You never disappointed me.’

Fucking hell, Kan. How could you say that? How could just say that when your life is slipping away? Why did your last words have to be for a nobody who had never known love his entire life? And then you had to go ahead and show him. Make him realize he actually had a family. That he always had a father figure watching him this entire time.

Why, Kan?

His hand slipped from my face.

I howled, long and hard, like a wolf who had lost its pack.


	13. Epilogue: I Know You Hate Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September and October were an absolute shit show. Hope everyone is staying safe in these strange times!
> 
> The epilogue to the story of our lone wolf and the disillusioned ex-soldier. Good things come in small doses so be sure to cherish each and every one

‘I know you hate flowers,’ I muttered, waving a bouquet of roses and tulips. ‘But Mo made me take some. Something about paying respect to the dead.’

I laid them on top of the tombstone. As I did, I ran a hand over the engraving. Funny. I never knew his real name. It was a way to keep everyone’s identity hidden and families safe. But since Kan and I were both orphans, it really didn't matter if we knew each other's real name.

_‘I hate my alias. It’s so girly.’_

_‘Oh? I think it’s very mysterious. It goes with your job.’_

_‘I don’t want this job. And I don’t want that name.’_

_‘We can’t always get what we want, Shuu.’_

_‘…I don’t like it when you call me that.’_

_‘Then what would you like me to call you?’_

_‘…call me Shuuhei.’_

You would do that in private, when it was just us. When we took breaks between training, you’d read books to me and teach me about your favorite writers like Plato and the quantum physicist Max Planck. When you treated me like Shuuhei and not like Shuu.

It took me ten years to realize that. And now here I was, two years after you left this world, standing over your grave with a stupid bouquet that’ll somehow show how much I cared. I wished Mo had told me to do that earlier. I wished we had shared more moments about books and quantum mechanics. I wished you were still here.

_Breathe._

I exhaled slowly, calming myself down fairly quickly. My therapist did say I was getting better at controlling my mood swings. I was also starting to have less nightmare-riddled nights. At least Ken could finally get some sleep. I felt bad for waking the poor guy with my screams.

I glanced at my phone. We were still ahead of schedule. Shin said it was alright if we showed up early.

‘You could've stayed longer if you wanted. We’re ahead of schedule.’

I smiled wryly as I got into the car. ‘It’s okay. I think if I stayed any longer I’d start bawling like a kid.’

Kenny mussed up my hair. ‘That’s ‘cause you are one.’ He revved up the car. ‘I got a call from Ren. Hasch got sentenced 30 years. And that’s only for the charges they’re aware of.'

‘From what I know the organization’s done, 30 years is nothing.’ I chewed my bottom lip. ‘Hasch was never a bad person. He was just…sick in the head. Even in the Wandenreich, he’d-’

My breath hitched. I never revealed what Hasch did when we still worked together. Not even to the lawyer. How when I was younger, I dreaded his nightly ventures to my room. But as I got older, and became a better fighter, we settled matters on the training mats. I did my best to hold my ground against him. Still, his obsession had unnerved me.

Kenny signaled and took a left. ‘You don’t have to say anything, Shuu. Besides, I think it’s best if I don’t know. If I did, I’d wish I hadn’t let that bastard get away that day and ripped him a-’

‘No one's to blame for what happened,’ I interrupted him. ‘Not you. Not Hasch. And no one should take the blame either. It won’t help anyone.’

‘…I see you’ve been listening to Dr. Hana.’

‘You would too if your therapist was as terrifying as her.’

He chuckled richly. We pulled into a parking spot near the dock.

‘Well,’ he sighed, sounding almost irritated. ‘You ready to attend a wedding or what?’

* * *

‘You guys made it!’ Shin said gleefully, spreading his arms for a hug.

‘Don’t touch me,’ Kenny growled. Shin turned to Shuu, who smiled and gladly let the blonde wrap his arms around him.

‘Someone’s grouchy.’

‘You told me to wear a fucking _bowtie_ , Shin.’

‘It’s a formal event!’

‘Did you think I’d come in sweatpants or something??’

‘Hey, Shin, who made those flower ball decoration things? They're so...spherical,’ Shuu said hastily as he dragged the huffy man away before he strangled Ken by his bowtie.

Kenny shook his head. Shin could be so controlling sometimes.

‘I can dress well,’ he muttered, spooning some punch into his cup.

‘I’d be careful how much you drink of that stuff.’ Koma walked up next to him and grabbed a crostini off a plate. ‘I think I saw that busty blonde dump a whole flask of something in.’

Kenny stared at the punch bowl. Then proceeded to ladle another spoonful into his cup.

‘Not a fan of weddings, are ya?’ the burly man chuckled.

‘Big celebrations are not my thing.’ He leaned against the table and took a sip. He winced. Man, that shit was strong. 

Koma nodded. ‘I’m in the same boat. But Yoru insisted. Something about me saving Shin’s skin.’

‘If this is how she thanks people from preventing Shin's imminent death, I’m surprised she hasn’t adopted me into the family,’ Kenny muttered.

Two kids ran past them, laughing as they played chase across the ship deck. The sun kissed the sea, painting the sky a soft gold with hints of pinks and blues at the edges. It was going to be a beautiful wedding, like something out of a brochure. It was hard to believe that it was for an assassin and her drug dealing boyfriend. Never, in his wildest dreams, did Kenny think he would be attending such an event.

Then again, he also didn’t think he would be so intricately tied to the mafia’s number one teenage hitman.

Well, ex-hitman.

They were slowly extricating themselves from that world. It was Shuu’s decision. After Kan’s death, he felt like he was being haunted by his past. He would wake up screaming at night. He couldn’t eat for weeks. He’d sometimes see hallucinations in broad daylight.

Kenny finally convinced him to see a therapist. With Dr. Hana’s help they were able to calm Shuu’s mind so that he could start sorting out the mess in the underworld, leaving the proper people in charge once he left. It didn’t require much from him. Ren was a born leader and the Wandenreich took to him immediately. They’d all seen Ren take care of his men and decided they’d rather follow a man like that. Guess they weren’t content being sheep.

Izu helped out with the gap left in Victoria. Zen had significant influence so things worked out easily there. Mo took over the group and moved back to Palace. She was working on a new business for them. Something more peaceful. Probably moonshine, based on what Ran had poured into the punchbowl.

Kenny decided on a fishing business for his peaceful ventures. And Shuu decided to get a high school diploma.

_‘I never got to do that...I’ve always wanted to go to school…’_

Shuu laughed at Hiri smacking Shin around. Whenever he smiled, Kenny saw how young he truly was. He was just a kid. And yet, they lived in a world where a kid could never be a kid for long.

‘How is he doing?’

Koma peered at Kenny with interest.

The silver-haired man stared into his cup. ‘He’s struggling.’ He gulped it all down. ‘But he’s got me. And Shin.’

‘I’m glad.’ Koma’s eyes trailed to Shuu. ‘He was a good kid. Gentle. Budding with energy. He was the world to Lisa.’ He clenched his hands into fists. ‘It still makes me burn on what that man did to him. Did to Lisa. He forced her, y’know? Made his men hold me down and…’

He let out a shaky breath. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to unburden on you. It’s just…how did such a good kid come from a monster like that?’

Kenny scratched his head. ‘Who knows? I’d like to believe that nobody is born to be cruel. Shuu was lucky he had parents like you and Lisa to teach him good.’

‘I wish I’d been better. He wasn’t mine but that never stopped me from caring for him. It really…it really tore me when they took him away.’

Shuu was now gently getting the short blonde girl to stop beating up Shin. Shin then proceeded to grapple him in a hug and swing him around, much to Shuu’s embarrassment.

‘...He said if I tried looking for Shuu, he’d kill him,’ Koma said quietly.

‘…that's some burden to carry.’

‘I couldn’t keep lying to him. The pain in his eyes broke me.’ He looked at Ken. ‘You think I did the right thing? Telling him the truth like that.’

Ken looked back calmly. ‘What would’ve happened if you didn’t?’

They stared at each other for moment. Koma looked away first and shrugged. ‘Who knows?’

‘Alright! We’re about to start! Could everyone take their seats, please? Thank you!’

‘Well, let’s get this over with,’ Ken sighed, tugging at his bowtie. He couldn’t wait to take this damn thing off.

Koma grabbed his arm. ‘I forgot to ask…’ he murmured. ‘The birth certificate…’

‘He burned it,’ Ken remarked without looking back. Koma released him.

‘I guess it’s for the best.’

‘…Yeah.’ 

‘Where were you?’ Shuu whispered. Ken handed him the punch. Shuu barely took a sip and immediately began coughing uncontrollably. ‘I guess business must be booming for Mo. What the hell is that anyway?’

‘My guess is moonshine.’

‘More like shoeshine…’ He leaned against Ken. ‘This is gonna be some wedding.’

‘Yeah. Gotta hand it to Yoru, she picked a great wedding venue.’

Shuu snorted. ‘She picked a rich fiancée.’

They started playing the Wedding March. Ken groaned. ‘You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me…’

Shuu looked like he was holding back a laugh. ‘Easy, buddy. It’ll be all be over soon.’ He nudged Ken’s knee with his own. ‘We’ll stop at that shawarma place when we leave. That hole-in-the-wall one one.’

That actually made Ken smile. In walked Yoru in a simple gown with ample cleavage and the longest train he had ever seen. My God, this woman loved to make an entrance.

‘Dear friends and family. We have gathered here today for the beautiful union of Yoruichi Shihoin and Kisuke Urahara…’

He noticed Shuu’s smile looked slightly different. Almost bittersweet. He used his knee to nudge Shuu’s this time. ‘What’re you thinking, kid?’

‘Oh, just…’ he murmured, getting a faraway look in his eyes. ‘Never thought I’d be attending a wedding. Or going to school. Or…eating shawarma and being…normal.’

‘Does anyone object to this union? Speak now or forever hold your peace.’

Ken felt his heart clench and he was reminded again that this was not normal for Shuu.

‘Sorry,’ the kid continued, clasping his hands in his lap as he stared at them. ‘I guess…what I’m trying to say is…I’m happy. I’m really happy, Ken.’ His eyes were bright and wet.

‘I now pronounce you husband and wife.’

Shit, for an ex-hitman he sure cried a lot.

‘You may kiss the bride.’

Ken placed a hand over Shuu’s and squeezed affectionately.

‘Me, too, kid.’ He grinned broadly. ‘Me, too.’


End file.
